


Unopened

by merinxD



Category: Free!
Genre: Adult Situations, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Chemistry, Falling In Love, Foreplay, Happy Ending, Instant Attraction, Kissing, M/M, thinking you were happy until you meet happiness, very clear makoto and haru despite the summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-21
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-09 13:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1146307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merinxD/pseuds/merinxD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto the communications student and boyfriend to Keiko meets Haru the quiet fraternal twin with a flare for architecture and life takes a drastic turn towards the unknown. </p><p>The story of a man who lives for other people. He is about to learn that life is rarely ever clean cut. Mistakes happen, people get hurt, love is found and maybe it’s time to open the envelope.</p><p>Proofed by anilinsan</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this series will eventually be adapted into an original novella. This version will not be removed but no further edits will be made. I own the copy right and am allowed to keep both in place with warnings. Thank you for your understanding.

If anyone were to describe Makoto Tachibana they would notice four things: his smile, his looks, his sunny disposition and his ever present happiness, which is more polite than many would receive. However, that would be the unopened version; the outer layer. There wasn’t too much to notice about the 22 year old communications student; he was rather ordinary. Makoto wasn’t an overly popular man but he wasn’t unpopular. He wasn’t too tall and he wasn’t too short. He wasn’t overly skilled at anything but he was known to be a trier. As stated his looks were one of his exceptional qualities but he was remembered for his one incredible skill; Makoto could make anyone happy - know their needs without being told - and that was what made him happy.

So one could imagine how distressing it would be for a man such as him to find himself deviating from his one true calling. The letter that sat in his grasp was no doubt an offer for a job that he didn’t want. He hadn’t opened any of the five letters but the insignia stated the sender clearly. Also, his mother tipped him off.

His family were like any other middle class lot. They were nice enough and supportive, too. Nevertheless, his mother wanted more from her only son. It was well-meaning, Makoto was sure, but for the first time he didn’t know if he could say yes so easily. Dropping out of his double major didn’t feel right. Sure he would finish communications but what about business? He had worked hard for two years getting to the point of today and next year he would be doing placement. Makoto loved to help people and he could do just that in business communications but not if he gave up now.

He placed the letter down on the table and sighed softly to himself. His phone was beside it and his travel bag sat on the floor. As far as he knew Makoto was ready for his holidays and the letter could wait. He would figure it out when he wasn’t on the verge of meeting his girlfriend’s family.

“Does this look good to you?” A voice sounded from the hall and Nagisa appeared dressed like a pink popsicle.

“It depends, what are you going for?” Makoto asked, touching his chin in thought. Sure his friend had some funny clothes and this wasn’t the most outrageous but Makoto was always genuine with him and he was sure that Nagisa appreciated it.

“You can have my number?” His friend replied lecherously as he looked down at the tight salmon skinny jeans and darker coloured pull over. It was just as tight and Makoto thought that Nagisa could get more than a phone number in it.

“Yeah, I think that’s the right one then.” He smiled and his friend beamed.

“Good! Cuz it took waaay too long to get into these pants.” He paused, looking from the travel bag to Makoto. “Oh, is your trip today?”

The brunet deadpanned. “Nagisa, I told you last night.”

“Did it sound like a lecture?”

That got a smile out of him. “I don’t know, maybe?”

Nagisa nodded, plonking down in a chair and setting his feet on the table, to which Makoto frowned at the action. Nagisa just wiggled his toes.

“Then I probably wasn’t listening.” The blond said truthfully. “But I don’t see why you’re going. You’ve only been with Keiko for six months. You’ve known me since we were 15 and you still haven’t met my dad.”

“Nagisa, your dad lives in Italy.” Makoto replied wryly.

“That’s not the point. Just don’t do anything stupid.” His friend smiled widely like he was, in fact, endorsing stupidity.

“Isn’t that something I should be saying to you?”

“Is there any point?”

Makoto grinned and the doorbell rang behind them. “No, I don’t suppose there is.” He finished.

A cackle resounded in reply and the taller man picked up his satchel and phone. The letter stayed where it was.

“Remember to water the plants and do the dishes.” Makoto addressed and he was glad they didn’t have a cat.

“The plants I can do but the dishes…Let’s just say there might be a present waiting for you when you get back.”

Makoto frowned. “It’s only 8 weeks.”

The doorbell rang again and they both looked toward the entryway. Whatever was going to be said was lost now to the immediacy of the moment.

“I’ll text you.” Makoto warned and his eyes were like a worrying mother hen.

“Promise?” Nagisa smirked, winking.

“You betcha.”

Pulling the door open, the free man was greeted with the sight of black hair, blue eyes and a smile that was warningly familiar.

“Keiko.” He breathed.

“Hey sexy. You all set?” His girlfriend asked, smiling wickedly.

“Never been more ready.” Makoto grinned back before leaning forward to fix a solid kiss upon her thin lips.

The two made their way to the elevator hand in hand and in high spirits, neither knowing that Makoto’s assumption could never be more wrong…

___

Stage One

“It’s so lovely that the two of you were able to come.” Keiko’s mother beamed as she fussed them through the front entryway. The house was alight with the scent of cooking and it was warm inside. Outside was another matter and Makoto was glad to get out of the frost.

“Oh, stop it.” Keiko smiled good-naturedly and kissed her mother on the cheek. Mrs. Nanase folded her daughter in a warm hug that almost saw Keiko rise from the ground. The two were the same height as each other and from the looks of it they were both just as sturdy despite being petite.

“And you.” Mrs. Nanase addressed Makoto. Her smile seemed to grow to inhuman proportions and she stepped forward to wrap her arms around his waist. “Welcome.” She said and with one more incredibly strong squeeze the woman pulled back. She turned around and marched back into the kitchen, merely glancing over her shoulder to indicate that they should follow. Makoto wasn’t going to say no to that, especially when he could feel heat radiating from the quaint area.

“Now I don’t know where your brother is.” Mrs. Nanase started as she continued to chop ingredients for dinner. Makoto wasn’t sure what she was cooking but it already smelled good. He hadn’t had a slow cooked meal since he left home. One could say that cooking was not one of his strong points and Nagisa was lazy so the two of them ate a lot of cardboard meals.

Keiko snorted, turning her head to the side. Her black hair snapped and her chin jutted out. Makoto always thought that she was cute when she did that. He must have been a glutton for punishment. Not all men would like a woman when she wore her battle face.

“Haru’s in his room. Like he would be anywhere else.” She said and although it sounded innocuous enough, Makoto couldn’t help but sense an underlying hostility. Of course, he had never had any brothers or sisters so perhaps this was what they called ‘sibling rivalry’.

“Keiko.” Her mother replied in a tone of gentle warning. A pause followed and Makoto decided to fill the silence.

“It smells amazing, Mrs. Nanase.”

The older woman’s shoulders relaxed and she said, “Thank you, Makoto. If you let Keiko show you upstairs you can wash up and then we can have a hot drink before dinner.”

“That would be nice.” He smiled at her half turned face.

“I’ve asked Haru to put the guest futon in his room. It’s too cold down here at night. I hope that’s okay.”

Makoto didn’t know if this was a test but he wasn’t unhappy with the arrangements. He had always been a respectful boy. He and Keiko weren’t sleeping together yet because Makoto didn’t feel like it was time. It was probably stupid and womanly but he wanted the moment to be right.

“Of course.” He nodded, leaning down to pick up the bag that he had placed on the linoleum floor.

“You head up.” Keiko suggested before she placed a kiss upon his cheek. “It’s the room right down the end of the hall to the left. I just have to talk to mama for a sec.”

“Alright.” Makoto responded with a charming smile and he looked to Mrs. Nanase. “Thank you for having me ma’am.”

“It’s a pleasure, Makoto. Now chop chop.” She smiled as her hands clapped together and the young man did as he was told. He turned and exited the open entryway to find the stairs only a foot or two away. The sound of bubbling broth hit his ears almost as strong as the amazing aroma and he could hear Keiko whining cutely from inside.

“Mama, did you have to do that? I told you that Makoto is a good boy.”

Makoto wasn’t one to pry and merely blushed as he ascended the staircase.

The room was easy enough to find. It was right there at the end of the long carpeted hallway like they said. There were two other doors, one at the base of the corridor and one on the other side. But the one he needed was the third on the left. Facing it somewhat nervously, he knocked.

“Hello?” Makoto asked and no reply came. He pressed against the varnished wood and the door creaked opened a fraction. It looked like there was no one inside.

“Excuse the intrusion.” He murmured beneath his breath. Makoto felt guilty for invading a stranger’s personal space but he stepped inside regardless and set his travel bag down beside the rolled out futon.

The room wasn’t what he expected it to be, though all he had to go on was Keiko’s taste. He didn’t know much about twins but it looked like Haru wasn’t like his sister at all. The area was covered head to toe in sketches of what looked to be structures. Houses, tall buildings, bridges and bird houses were pinned to the corkboard and taped to the mirror. They sat in spots that posters would usually be found and it was a little odd. Nevertheless, Makoto found it interesting.

This was not the bedroom of a man the same as Keiko. This was a place where a thinker resided, Makoto could tell. Each piece of paper had notes all along the sides and it was the messiest part of the room. The bed was made perfectly and the navy blue matched the drawn back curtains.

He wasn’t sure why but Makoto felt comfortable here and it was probably the reason that he found himself stepping forward, close to the largest corkboard. Once there he unpinned a half crumpled piece of paper and flattened it out in his palm.

The sketch wasn’t like the others littering the walls. It was a small project; a business of some kind. By the amount of notes scrawled at the sides, Makoto could hazard a guess that this one was troubling the creator. But why? Surely the high risers and bridges were harder to conceive.

“Huh.” He said as his green eyes met the words ‘I give up’. A frown set upon his angelic face and Makoto turned around in thought.

“Hello.” A newcomer greeted tonelessly and Makoto yelped in surprise. Standing in the doorway was a man that looked just like Keiko. Only, he was taller, his face was slightly more pointed and his eyes were a lighter blue.

“H-Hi!” Makoto exclaimed, shaking away his rudeness. He needed to explain his behaviour. “Sorry, I was just-”

“Snooping?” The young man asked flatly. There was a wryness to his tone that made Makoto think that he was joking but those serious eyes made him wonder.

Still, he chuckled nervously and gave a guilty smile.

“Yeah…” He admitted.

A silence fell and Makoto realised that this person watching him, Haru, was really watching him. His blue eyes traveled from Makoto’s green downward until they reached his toes and then Haru’s head snapped back up.

The whole thing was strange and Makoto shook it away as he stepped forward.

“I’m sorry. I’m Makoto.” He offered his hand in greeting and the person looked down at it like he had never shook hands before.

“Haru.” He responded with his name before he raised his arm dubiously and pressed his palm against Makoto’s. Their fingers folded together and it was a surprisingly strong hold.

But that wasn’t all that it was.

The grasp was warm, a little clammy and the tingles didn’t make sense. A strange jolt traveled down Makoto’s spine as he continued to hold Haru’s to his, shaking in greeting for a lot longer

than socially acceptable. Their eyes met and he felt a pull in the base of his stomach. It was only a little but it was there.

Then…

“Haru, Makoto! What’s taking so long? Can I have the first bath?” Keiko sounded as she bounded up the stairs and took to the hallway. Makoto flinched and pulled back quickly. He felt like he had done something wrong and he wasn’t sure what. Haru’s knowing expression didn’t make the situation any better either. Keiko’s blue eyes fell on Haru first and she noticed his wet hair. “You better not have used all the hot water.” She groused.

Her twin glared but didn’t speak and Makoto was quick to smooth everything over.

“I was just saying hello to your brother.”

Keiko grinned and punched Haru in the bicep. He didn’t look impressed.

“Who would want to say hello to you.” She joked and Makoto laughed nervously. Haru glanced to the side and the movement was so similar to Keiko’s sulking yet completely different at the same time. Makoto couldn’t help but stare.

“So, can I?” His girlfriend asked again and Makoto realised that she was talking about having a bath.

“Do what you want.” Haru responded for the both of them before he turned and walked silently down the hall. His hands stuffed in his pockets and if Makoto was right, Haru was annoyed.

“What’s wrong with him?” Keiko grimaced, reaching out to take Makoto’s hand in her own.

“He’s probably hungry.” Makoto bluffed. He didn’t notice that his words were stupid because of the small palm against his own. It was warm, petite and Makoto didn’t feel any electricity from the hold at all.

He threaded his fingers through Keiko’s and kept his trademark smile in place. His pretty girlfriend smiled back and Makoto leaned down to press their lips together. Like their touching hands, he felt no spark. That feeling from before was something that he had never experienced before and maybe he imagined the whole thing.

Yeah, he imagined it. Makoto was a man, anyway, and he was pretty sure that he liked women; he had only ever dated girls, after all. He’d put the last ten minutes to the side and think of it as an anomaly.

“You go. I’ll be fine.” He smiled as he straightened up.

“Okay.” Keiko replied with one last squeeze of his hand.

The dark haired girl disappeared into a bedroom further down the hallway and Makoto let out an involuntary sigh.

He stepped back into the area that was so inexplicably Haru; a man that Makoto didn’t know but could see everywhere.

“Everything is fine.” He murmured.

His self-assurance didn’t stop a new seed of question from forming in the base of his mind and the crisp smell of the clean sheets mixed with a masculine musk only made it worse.


	2. Chapter 2

It turned out that everything was fine. Makoto managed to slip into the washroom fifteen minutes later and he smiled as Keiko bolted down the hallway muttering beneath her breath,

“It’s too fucking cold!”

He didn’t unpack his things despite having a drawer and hanging space to use. He wasn’t sure why but it felt like an action too personal for this small space and so Makoto’s clothes stayed within his travel bag in neatly folded rows. He made sure not to take up too much space and once he was dressed in a warm pull over and jeans the young man made his way down to meet the Nanase’s.

“You must have felt your ears burning.” Keiko’s mother said when he walked into the kitchen. The lights were on now and the scent of food was overpowering. It looked like she was just about to serve it up.

Makoto chuckled tokenly and played with the frayed corner on the pocket of his jeans. It was a habitual move that he did often and it was probably why the threads were feeling more prominent with each wear. Thankfully he only did it when he was nervous. Though, if that was saying something, he might not have any pants left by the end of his stay.

“I think they were.” He joked. “It smells great.”

“Well you’ll have to wait a little longer. The children are in the sitting room.” Mrs. Nanase said and Makoto had to smile. She reminded him of his mother in some ways. To lady Tachibana, Makoto would always be her little boy. Perhaps it would be the same when he had his own children.

“You don’t need any help?” He asked politely. It wasn’t that he was trying hard but more so that he was the cleaner in his house.

“No, no. Get out there and send Keiko in here to set the table.”

“Oh, I can-”

“Nonsense! Go and sit down. You must be tired from driving all this way.” Mrs. Nanase replied, having none of it.

Makoto smiled softly in defeat and turned toward the room he knew to be the sitting area. It was warm inside with the fire going and the twins were sitting on the floor in front of the television. If Makoto didn’t already know their age he would mistake them for teenagers.

“You cheated!” Keiko announced as she elbowed Haru in the ribs.

“Che. You just suck.” He responded but Makoto could see a quirk to his lips. It was obvious that Keiko’s brother cared for her in his own quiet way.

“I can still kick your butt.” She replied.

Haru didn’t argue but he did look wary. Though it was understandable, she was a rowdy girl who never backed down from a fight. Makoto couldn’t imagine that their childhood arguments were amicable. In fact, by the glint in her eyes he would say that it was physical and Haru should watch out.

“Oh relax, dummy, I’m only joking.” Keiko said when Haru’s shoulders stiffened. He opened his mouth to reply but as he turned his head Makoto came into view.

“Makoto.” Haru said instead.

“Oh, Mako!” Keiko beamed. “Do you want to play Xbox?”

Makoto smiled his guilty smile and looked apologetic.

“I’d love to, Keiko, but your mother wants you to set the table. I offered to do it but-”

“She’d rather work me as the pack horse instead.” Keiko sighed. “I get it. I’ll go be a good little girl.” She made a face and rose from the carpet. A controller was placed in Makoto’s grasp and she pat him on the chest.

“Go get him.” Keiko ordered and her blue eyes spoke challenge. Makoto’s gaze traveled over the top of his girlfriend’s head to the man sitting on the floor and Haru’s chin tilted. Their eyes met and Makoto felt like he was stuck.

But then Keiko was walking from the room and he was left there by himself. It prompted Makoto to shake his head and the look ceased.

“What are we playing?” He asked conversationally and Haru grunted.

Three game cases were placed beside him and Makoto fell to the floor. Crossing his legs, he picked up each one.

“I don’t really like racing games.” He said. “I’m not good under the stress.” It sounded sheepish but it was true.

“We could play this.” Haru suggested and Makoto frowned.

“You don’t have to do that for me. This is just a building game.”

Haru’s lips quirked at the side and his deeper blue glinted. “It’s an underwater building game. You help the village.” His eyes shone. “And you have pets.” He continued like it would sweeten the deal.

Makoto realised that Haru didn’t mind that the game stated 4 years and older on the cover so he wasn’t going to care either. It looked vibrant and fun.

It was, too. After the game was popped into the console, the two created an underwater town and their own characters. The co-op mode was a bit different - Haru had told him - but it was fun all the same. There was no competition aside from the points that their characters racked up from living. Makoto gained most of his from doing good deeds for the underwater town while Haru made food for everyone.

It was a little strange that in an aquatic city you were made to chop mackerel but Makoto didn’t dwell on it. It was only a game, after all.

“You got a hundred.” Haru accused when they put their controllers down. Keiko stood in the archway, grinning like a loon.

“Um. Sorry?” Makoto asked and Haru glanced to the side. His eyes were narrowed and it was impossible to tell whether he was annoyed, sulking or thinking really hard.

“Good job.” Haru finally said and Keiko’s eyes widened.

“What? No trial and jury?” She sounded surprised but winked in Makoto’s direction all the same. “You’re getting off light, Mako. He must like you.”

Haru’s head snapped up at his sister and his eyes narrowed to slits.

“Shut up.” He ordered before standing briskly and striding past Keiko. Their shoulders brushed and the woman made a humoured noise in the back of her throat.

“He doesn’t like to lose.” Keiko explained when Makoto rose to stand. She strolled closer and wrapped her arms around his middle. It was warm and she smelt like feminine soap.

“Maybe I’ll let him win next time.” Makoto replied and Keiko snorted.

“Noooo. Haru would never let that happen. He’s like me with that stuff. I don’t want to lose but I’d kill someone if they _let_  me win.”

Makoto just smiled because he knew that to be true of her.

“Come on.” She tugged and Makoto’s stomach gave a well-timed rumble. “Looks like we’re both hungry.”

“I think we should have had more than a fuel station sandwich.” He replied.

“It’s okay. Mama will give us food for the trip back.” Keiko nodded and Makoto felt thankful, though they weren’t leaving for eight weeks and it had only been half a day. Something told Makoto that this trip was going to feel like an eternity.

—

“And then Makoto thought that we’d hit something and freaked out!” Keiko laughed. “But I’d just banged my hand against the side of the car really hard.” The laugh turned into a cackle and Makoto blushed crimson.

“It wasn’t that funny.” He murmured. “I thought I’d really hit something.”

Haru’s blue eyes stared at his sister judgingly. “That wasn’t very nice, Keiko.”

Makoto’s hands rose quickly to wave in front of himself. “No. No. It was only a joke. Keiko is fond of her jokes, aren’t you?” He smiled and took her hand from beneath the table, though Haru’s lingering gaze saw that he pulled away after a moment or two. It really was awkward being in front of family it would seem.

“Keiko’s always liked to play tricks.” Mrs. Nanase informed. “When they were children she’d crawl into my room when I was napping and scare me awake.”

“Really?” Makoto asked with slightly wide eyes. He’d never even thought to do that to his mother. “Did Haru like pranks, too?” He found himself wondering and their mother shook her head.

“If you call disappearing for hours at a time a prank, then yes. Haru was an independent little boy. He walked to the shops once because he wanted to make a cake, took money and everything from the coin jar. He was only five years old.” She chuckled at the memory and her eyes held a faraway look. “You can imagine that I had a heart attack when I realised what he’d done.”

Haru huffed and his ears tinged pink. “I was fine, wasn’t I?”

His mother fixed him with a loving look. “You’re lucky that you were.” She told him and Makoto was inclined to agree. He didn’t have any children, or siblings, but he knew what it was like to worry. He fretted over Nagisa’s frequently lost status more than he had control over. It would be a miracle if the apartment wasn’t robbed and Nagisa gone when he got back.

Though, that was just his inner pessimist talking.

“I think we got off topic.” Keiko interjected and her mother nodded. Their plates were almost empty and Makoto was more than full. “I was thinking of going into town tomorrow. A few of my friends from school have coffee at Shinji and Rika’s and I want to catch up.”

“Is that the name of the coffee place?” Makoto asked and Keiko smiled like he was being an idiot.

“No, silly, remember Shinji? I’ve talked about him before. He and Rika work there. She’s the manager.”

Makoto didn’t remember but his expression said that he did.

“Of course, I know now.” He replied before taking another bite of his dinner. He didn’t want any more but it was enough of a distraction for his wandering mouth. It made it easier for him to not put his foot in it. They’d talked about all of Keiko’s friends and after awhile they all blurred into one.

From the depths of his dwindling stew, Makoto felt a pull at the top of his head. Glancing upward, green eyes immediately met blue and he flinched inwardly.

Haru didn’t speak but his gaze was heavy. Still, Makoto didn’t know what it was supposed to mean. Or he might have been trying not to read it.

“I’ll come.” Haru finally said, turning to look at his sister. “I need supplies for my project.”

Keiko grimaced. “Ugh. Holiday work. That sucks.”

Haru merely nodded in agreement.

“He’s having trouble with his business plan.” Mrs. Nanase explained and Keiko’s face lit up.

“Makoto can help him!” She offered and the brunet froze. “He’s a business student, remember?”

The two women talked back and forth while he and Haru sat in silence. The details were ironed out in a matter of minutes until finally Mrs. Nanase addressed him.

“Is that alright, Makoto? I don’t want you to overdo it on your holiday. It seems like you had a busy year.” She smiled and Makoto’s heart thumped lifelessly in the base of his stomach. Of course he’d do it. He knew that he couldn’t say no the moment that Keiko brought it up and normally that wouldn’t be a problem. But something felt off about this; like he was doing something wrong.

“It’s no trouble.” Makoto replied and then Mrs. Nanase was speaking to Haru. The dark haired man merely nodded his agreement before he stood and said quietly,

“May I be excused.” It was a question that sounded like a statement.

“If you take your plate.” His mother replied in words that sounded rehearsed.

Haru took his own plate and then reached for Makoto’s.

“He’s not finished.” Keiko said, looking at the stew in Makoto’s bowl.

“He’s full.” Haru stated and Keiko glanced at Makoto for affirmation.

He fought the urge to scratch the back of his neck and said,

“Yeah, I am.”

Haru didn’t wait for anything further. He already looked put out. Makoto didn’t really understand the reason because he had a completely different personality than the twins. Keiko was bossy but cheerful and Haru seemed to be terse but attentive. They were both a strange mixture.

For the rest of his time spent at the table, Makoto couldn’t help but look at the place where Haru previously sat. He didn’t do it on purpose but it made him wonder if he did that when Haru was sitting there as well.

That night, Keiko and Makoto played the same underwater game and he got the most points each time. It was enjoyable but the thrill of winning wasn’t as prominent any more. He wanted to let his girlfriend win but he knew that she wouldn’t like that. He was probably just tired and so after a couple of hours of staring at the television screen, Makoto kissed Keiko good night and headed for bed.

Mrs. Nanase dozed in her lounge chair and Keiko turned back to the screen. She was a night owl and it looked like she was determined to finish what she had started.

Climbing the stairs, Makoto went through his nightly ritual before pushing open the door to Haru’s bedroom.

“Oh, hey.” Makoto greeted a little awkwardly. Haru was lying on his bed in black and purple track pants and a black long sleeved shirt. It was warmer in this room but still cold.

“Hey.” Haru replied without taking his eyes off his sketchpad. His hand moved furiously over the paper and Makoto’s eyes lingered before he padded over to his bag. He pulled out his own sleepwear and discarded his pants. His shirt followed and he held the elastic of the long flannel that he wore during winter. Stepping into the dark orange pants was not only amazingly warm but incredibly comfortable. It saw that a soft groan fell from his lips and a sharp breath alerted him. The pull in his stomach returned in full force and Makoto slowly turned to look at Haru, who was, in fact, looking right at him.

The vibrant eyes sat on his abdominals now and Makoto flushed at the attention that he was receiving. Then, Haru’s head snapped upwards and their eyes met. It was ten times as bad as the perusal of his stomach and Makoto blushed completely before quickly gathering his wits and pulling the long sleeved shirt over his head.

Haru placed his sketch to the side with the pencil atop it before he slid back in his bed. The intense look was gone from his eyes but now he looked off.

Makoto didn’t like it.

“I’m sorry you have to help me.” He said softly and something clenched inside of the gentle man.

“It’s okay.” He replied, crouching to prepare his own bed. “I like helping people.”

There was a pause and then Haru sounded confused. “Why?”

“Well, that’s easy. That’s what friends do.” Makoto smiled. He followed the action by pulling his blanket around himself and lying back on the pillow. Haru wasn’t watching him anymore; instead, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling as he lay back as well.

“Friends…” He murmured, like he was tasting it on his tongue.

“Yeah. Don’t you have any friends?” Makoto asked. Haru was a little rough around the edges but surely he had a few people that he was close with.

The silence that followed was thoughtful and suggested that, no, Haru didn’t have anyone that he considered a friend.

“I had one once.” He finally replied. “But he moved away to reach his goals. I never thought of getting another one.” It was a sad sentence but it was somewhat comical in the way that Haru said it. It was like he could walk down to the shops and purchase a new buddy if he chose to.

“Oh.” Makoto murmured in reply, tilting his head to look up at the bed.

Haru’s eyes met his for a long moment and the man reached out for the lamp.

“You don’t want to be friends with me.” He said before the light cut out and the room filled with darkness.

Makoto probably should have responded but he didn’t.

He also shouldn’t have thought that he might have been okay with something more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter three part I and II which was originally broken into two chapters.   
> Edited by anilinsan.tumblr.com :)

**Stage Three Part I & II**

Haru was tired already. He didn’t like leaving the house and he certainly didn’t like going into town. There were clusters of shops and people there and human interaction was almost impossible to get past. If he lived in a big city it would be different but everyone here knew his mother, who didn’t know how to shut her mouth. His sister wasn’t any better. Keiko was just like him up until a point. Then they had reached school age and Haru discovered that she was much more adept at gaining friends than he. Though, to be fair, Haru didn’t want friends. He had one in his lifetime and it went horribly. He supposed that Makoto could have been considered a friend if it wasn’t for…

Well he didn’t want to think about that. 

No. He didn’t want to think and he didn’t want to exist, yet here he was standing in the middle of the sidewalk behind his twin sister and her boyfriend. His blue eyes watched their interlinked hands with curiosity as it was much more interesting than the hustle and bustle around them. Haru had never held hands with someone before. Well, he had, but it was the kind without the fingers all linked together. It looked sort of gross.  Though perhaps it was because he was looking at his sister’s hand pressed flat against another human’s in a way that was anything but platonic. Her pinky finger ran along the side of Makoto’s hand every so often and Haru’s brow furrowed a little more each time. His stomach swirled almost unnoticeably with an unidentified feeling that may or may not have been gas. 

Then Makoto’s thumb brushed against Keiko’s wrist in an intentional move that had Haru’s breath hitching and his gaze snapped to the side. The glass window of a store showed him that his eyes were wide and he looked flushed. There was obviously something wrong with him and it was so completely new that Haru didn’t know what to do with it. 

Surely he didn’t like Makoto. For one, the tall man in front of him wasn’t his type. His mind pushed the image of a torso bare Makoto into the foreground just to tease and to prove himself wrong. It looked like knowing your sexuality didn’t mean squat. Lithe men with toned arms and subtle abdominals may have done it for him on paper and were fun to draw, but Makoto was looking better and better as time wore on. Unfortunately for Haru it was only Makoto’s second day staying with them and there were weeks and weeks to follow. 

Of course he’d keep his mouth shut and his hands off because Keiko liked this person. Also, he had no idea how he’d go about seducing a real man. Was there a manual for things like that? How was he even supposed to know if Makoto liked men?

Haru shook his head and his hands pushed further into his jeans. A wad of notes touched his fingers and he scowled even deeper. It was one thing to go shopping for supplies but his mother had to make this excursion even worse. 

“Go and buy some real clothes. Something to wear out.” She had said and Makoto was the first to agree, smiling all big and open. Haru was caught hook, line and sinker and found himself nodding numbly at his kin and taking the cash. He was then steered from the house by his bossy twin until he finally came to and realised what had happened when the car jolted to a stop and the noise of the town entered his consciousness. 

By that point there was nothing to be done and now he couldn’t get away from the couple walking in front of him. 

“Come on, Haru. We’ll get the clothes first before you chicken out.” Keiko said and her head turned to fix him with a playful smile. She knew that he had a habit of disappearing and this was her way of ensuring that their mother didn’t throw a fit over the lack of errands filled. Keiko could get the groceries on her own, but she needed Haru for this part. 

“Shut it.” Haru replied as Keiko stuck out her tongue and then his eyes met Makoto’s. He swallowed as he watched the green brighten and Makoto spoke up.

“I bet you look good in blue.” He said simply.

The observation went straight to Haru’s head and he glanced to the side, ignoring the way that Keiko giggled. He kept looking at the ground right up until they were inside the town’s premiere clothing boutique and an annoyed fire filled Haru’s belly. He had been tricked. 

His twin sister’s boyfriend might have held an allure but Haru would ignore it because Makoto was completely evil. He didn’t know if he was being manipulated on purpose or if the brunet beside him was just that good. 

Makoto’s smile widened and it was locked just on Haru.

“Ready?” He asked and the dark haired man nodded obediently. 

Who was he kidding? If Haru’s feelings were reciprocated, he wouldn’t be able to say no in a second. Nevertheless, they weren’t. Because like Haru kept forgetting, Makoto was in love with Keiko…

—

“I give up!” Keiko exclaimed as she flopped down on the plush chair. Makoto stood beside it with a thoughtful expression and Haru was left to stand in front of them like an idiot. He hated this outfit. It was blue but it wasn’t right. Nor was it comfortable. 

“Aren’t girls supposed to be good at this?” He asked his sister and Keiko gave him a soft glare. 

“I  **am**  good. You’re just impossible.” She huffed and Haru let out a noise that sounded vaguely the same. Their eyes were almost matching and Haru could feel a familiar tension brewing. He loved his sister but man did she make him angry. 

“Hey!” Makoto interjected as he suddenly pulled their attention off each other. “How about this?” He asked and Haru took in the navy blue v neck shirt in his grasp. It wasn’t ugly or patterned like the other clothes he had been trying. 

“And these?” Makoto followed on and he finished his rifling through the sale rack. A pair of pale green pants emerged that were rather short. They’d probably sit above his knees. 

Haru’s legs were incredibly white but he’d try it on anyway. 

“Alright.” He said and he held out his hand. Warm fingers brushed his own a moment later and Makoto gave him a reassuring expression. Then Haru turned and marched resolutely back into the changing room. There was a pair of black slacks sitting on the small chair that had been their only success and he supposed that they would look good with the shirt as well. 

“Haru.” Keiko’s voice came from the other side of the curtain after a few minutes. “Try this.” She said and her hand poked inside. Usually she had no sense of decency so Haru had no idea what Keiko was playing at but he wasn’t complaining. 

“Thanks.” He replied and he took the few items quickly. One was a hooded cardigan and the other a button down striped shirt. The third piece looked a bit ridiculous and he wasn’t even going to bother trying the baggy sleep pants on. Haru wasn’t sure if it was Keiko or Makoto’s doing choosing polka dotted flannel but he’d let it slide since they were sure to be warm. 

“This?” He asked when the curtain finally pulled back. The mirror told him that the outfit didn’t look bad. The tennis shoes were a bit much, though he secretly liked the look of them. The white-green shorts and v neck shirt made him look less frail and showed that he actually did exercise a few times a week. Originally, going to the gym was something that he had tried after he’d seen the advertisement on television. The men were attractive on the screen but they were another story down at the local venue. He’d stuck with the trial period despite that and found that his creative flow was better off because of the increase in activity. So he kept going and it had been almost a year since. It was probably noticeable only to himself but it didn’t matter. Haru actually didn’t feel like shit. 

“Whoa.” Keiko gasped as her blue eyes took in her twin’s form. “You’ve been working out!” 

So maybe he wasn’t the only one that noticed. 

“What do you think?” Haru asked as he turned to Makoto. The tall man was looking at him but he seemed to be out of it. Makoto’s eyes were a darker shade than before and when they rose to meet his, Haru felt a jolt in his pelvis. The look held for only a second before Makoto shook his head and gave him a standoffish but friendly smile. Despite that, Haru had already made his choice. The pants were staying. 

“You look good, Haru.” Makoto complimented and Keiko nodded in agreement. 

“And now we can finally go! I’m dying for a coffee.” His sister complained and Haru just rolled his eyes. 

Haru knew one reason as to why Keiko was excited to go to the coffee hut and he was certain that Makoto was unaware. That was, of course, if Keiko hadn’t changed since moving away for the big life; university, theatre, special training, was all her deal now. She used to be just like the rest of them and this outing would prove very educational.

His sister had left home for a dream and the creative arts was where it all started. However, that meant that her friends and her life was left behind. And her old boyfriend, Shinji. 

A feeling of anticipation bubbled in the base of Haru’s stomach and his heart thudded strangely in his chest. He wasn’t completely sure but what he was experiencing felt a lot like hope. 

They hadn’t gotten assignment supplies or ink yet and they were marching into a potentially precarious situation. Still, Haru couldn’t help but smile.

It was his first of the day.

Yeah, he was a terrible brother. 

xxx

“You look excited.” Makoto observed as Keiko all but skipped along the sidewalk. The coffee hut was only a minute or two away from the clothing boutique and Makoto was pleased with that fact. He was freezing. His fingers felt like they were going to fall off and he now knew why the twin’s brought their gloves. He was an idiot. 

“I haven’t seen my friends in ages.” Keiko beamed and the threesome stopped on the side of the road. The small, brown building with a coffee bean shaped sign stared at them from across the road and Makoto sighed in relief. Keiko all but squealed before she bounded forward without any regard for oncoming traffic; luckily for her, pedestrians were more prominent than cars. 

“Wow.” He let out when Keiko was gone from sight. He blinked twice and sure enough she had already disappeared inside the building. Haru and he hadn’t moved and Makoto looked both ways as he prepared to cross as well. 

“Here.” Haru spoke up and Makoto halted. 

“Hm?” He intoned as his eyes slid down to look at the gloves in the dark haired man’s grasp. “Oh, Haru…” Makoto murmured. He couldn’t take them off him, what would Haru use?

“It’s fine. My jacket is warmer.” He explained and showed how his hands could burrow into the thick winter wear. 

Still, Makoto’s brows furrowed. 

“You’re sure?” He asked and Haru’s eyes narrowed viciously.

“I said so, didn’t I?” The snarky man snapped and Makoto found the leather thrust into his open hands. 

“O-Okay.” He responded but Haru was already crossing the road. His large pull-over and beanie made him look like a very cute, fabric-made snowman. 

“ _No_.” Makoto scolded himself and he forced his eyes away from the retreating form. He had to stop whatever was happening inside of his head. Ever since he arrived for his holiday everything had been off kilter. Of course, all of his thoughts had been completely unintentional. He would just have to learn some self-control. That was the only solution. 

Despite his better judgement, Makoto slipped on the yellow gloves that fit surprisingly well. The tingles in his fingers immediately lessened as they wiggled in the large slots and he couldn’t help but imagine how big they would be on Haru. He tried to stay away from the word ‘cute’, but his mind refused to listen and Makoto quickly stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets so that he didn’t have to look at the gloves. 

A warm feeling situated within his chest cavity of its own accord and the cold weather suddenly didn’t bother him as much. 

He lowered his guard and stepped onto the street, gritting his teeth. Makoto was starting to feel guilty.

—

Inside was warm and Makoto instantly felt worse about taking the gloves. He could see Keiko standing by the cash register and Haru sitting in a booth furthest from the window. One was smiling happily, while the other looked as apathetic as possible. Still, the well-meaning man felt his feet angle in the direction of the booth before he forced himself away. 

He needed to be a supportive boyfriend and meet Keiko’s friends. Makoto had heard quite a bit about the both of them while he played xbox with Keiko last night. He knew that Rika liked to make her own jewelry and sell it at the monthly markets and that she shared an apartment with Shinji. They had known Keiko since their second year of primary school and Makoto was sure that they would be over protective. 

It made him feel horrible for the thoughts inside of his mind and the way that his body had been reacting. Back in the clothing boutique Makoto felt completely stifled. It was more than just warm in there and he knew why. His breath had quickened, along with his heart rate, and he couldn’t keep his eyes off Haru in the clothes that  _he_  had chosen. It was strangely erotic and completely out of bounds. Makoto wasn’t scared that Haru was a man. In fact, he thought that he might have liked boys at one time but then girls looked just as good and smelled even better. He was in high school then and he figured that it was just a stage, but Haru was proving him wrong every step of the way. 

Makoto was attracted to him and he was also attracted to Keiko. It was logical since they were twins. 

What wasn’t logical was the pull that he had to the twin that he wasn’t allowed. He’d never been someone to want something forbidden and he didn’t get why it was starting now. 

Before he came to stay with the Nanase’s, Makoto knew that he would be meeting Keiko’s two best friends and he was admittedly a little worried.  He realised the previous night, following dinner, that he did know who they were. Haru had his mind in all of the wrong places and while he should have been paying attention his head was in the clouds. Rika sounded like a tough nut and Shinji was Keiko’s ex-boyfriend; which was definitely something that  _should_ upset him, but Makoto didn’t feel much of anything. He did worry about Shinji, when Keiko first told him, but it went away quickly. Makoto had rationalised that it was because he trusted his girlfriend and he told her so. Yeah, he trusted Keiko. Though Makoto was starting to question how much he trusted himself. 

He eyed Keiko who was talking to a blonde man with shining white teeth and a dark haired girl that was even shorter than Keiko; maybe 4’6. Then his eyes slid back to the booth and vibrant blue assaulted his senses. Haru was looking at him and for a moment all he could do was look back. He watched as Haru picked up his cup of coffee and sipped at it slowly. A slice of foam covered his upper lip that he licked away and Makoto gulped. He tore from the scene and forced his reaction into the back of his consciousness. Regardless, his neck was flushed and his cheeks rosy. Makoto felt hot again and it was so very wrong. 

“Hey.” Keiko said cheerfully as she approached him. “You okay? You’ve been standing there for ages.” 

Makoto gave her a smile as he gathered himself and allowed their hands to link. “Sorry, the cold must be getting to me.” He lied.

“Well you’re the idiot that didn’t bring gloves. I told you.” She replied before noticing the leather against her palm. “These - These are Haru’s…”

“Yeah. He gave them to me.” Makoto said softly and the guilt heightened. 

Keiko looked surprised; her eyes said it all. Haru wasn’t usually so nice and Makoto hated the happy feeling that welled within him. 

“I said he liked you.” She finally joked, after a long pause, and she offered a matching smile. It was a little different to her regular ones which made Makoto think that he was being incredibly obvious. 

“Hey.” He snagged her wandering attention suddenly. “After we’re done why don’t we watch a movie?” Makoto suggested hopefully. “It’s not much of a date, but-” A petite hand shushed him. 

“It’ll be perfect.” Keiko grinned before tugging on his hand. “Come on.” She pulled harder. 

Makoto allowed himself to be taken along with the current. He pushed all of his attention into meeting Keiko’s friends so that he didn’t have to think about the reason for the impromptu date that would follow. 

For the rest of the day he kept as much distance between him and Haru as possible. It was a success, but it shouldn’t have been so difficult. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Sorry about my friends.” Keiko grimaced. “They’re a little protective.” 

Makoto chuckled in response and gave her a look that said, “You don’t say.”

Then he followed on. “I get it, Keiko. If my best friend was as cute as you, I’d be scowling, too.”

She laughed. “Scowling? More than Haru?” She sounded curious and Makoto’s senses tingled. He had almost forgotten that Haru existed. 

Still, he smiled and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Do you hear that, Haru-bear? Makoto said you’re a grump.” Keiko’s voice traveled through to the kitchen to where Haru was doing the dishes. The water had stopped flowing as of a few moments ago and the dark haired man appeared in the entryway with a plate and a dishcloth in his grasp. 

He didn’t look impressed, but in saying that, there was a twinkle in his eye. 

“I told you not to call me that.” He growled and Keiko giggled guiltily. “And you said it.” Haru continued on. “I heard you.” His tone was accusing and somewhat petulant. It was incredibly cute. 

Fuck, there was that word again. 

“You know, Keiko.” Makoto pushed the dangerous thought away. “You can be pretty grumpy yourself.” He said. His tone was light and joking, but her perfectly shaped brows slunk low and for a moment her and Haru matched. 

“You two are cute.” Makoto observed, looking from one to the other. 

“LOL.  _I_ am cute. Haru’s a grumpy teddy bear.”

“Stop it, Keiko!” Haru groused and Makoto’s eyes widened a fraction. 

“Come on now, it was only a joke.” He tried and surprisingly they both listened.

“Sorry Makoto.” Haru was the first to say and Keiko looked taken aback. Then, she turned to her boyfriend and gave him an apologetic look.

“Me too.” She offered. 

Gazing back at her brother’s retreating form, Keiko called out, “Haru!”

He turned and fixed them with an apathetic look. “Yeah?” 

“Do you want to watch the movie with us?” She asked, sounding nicer than before; sisterly even. 

Regardless, Haru scoffed. It was a noise that sat at the back of his throat and his lips didn’t open. It suited him and the expression of distaste that covered his pointed face.

“I’ll pass.” He replied before turning around and disappearing out of sight. 

Keiko’s face fell but only for a moment. Then she smiled softly at Makoto and the conflicted man was able to immerse himself in the date night experience. 

Only the movie seemed to go on for way too long, his touches were full of guilt and by the end of it Makoto didn’t feel better at all. He felt worse for wear and Keiko was beaming. She was very pleased with him and Makoto felt like a fraud. 

So at the end of the night, he walked her to her bedroom door, like the fraud that he was, and kissed Keiko full on the lips. It was soft and sweet; exactly like he had come to know. She smeled of perfume and familiarity, and for a moment he was able to forget. He pulled away, though, and like moments do, it ended. Makoto walked down the hall and into the washroom. He showered lazily and brushed his teeth. He dried his hair and pulled on his pajamas that were hanging where he had left them that morning beside his bath towel. 

The scent of perfume was gone from his form and he smelled of soap. However, when Makoto entered Haru’s room quietly, his senses were assaulted with that same new smell that was familiar in a way that he had never known. He’d say that it was like coming home but Makoto didn’t have the words to articulate it, nor did he want to associate Haru with something so intimate, even if he couldn’t help it one bit. 

The room was coated in Haru and that was the only way to explain it. It was masculine and sweet; it was alluring. Makoto didn’t know what was going wrong or what had changed. He knew after tonight that something was definitely different between him and Keiko. But it wasn’t her; it was him. Makoto had changed in the span of only a few days, or he’d been this way his whole life and was only just realising it. Whatever the case, something had slotted into place, something impossible to deny. He felt horrible; like the worst person in the world. And it was in that moment that he decided the correct course of action for the rest of his stay: denial and avoidance. Makoto wouldn’t be ‘that guy’. He didn’t want to be. He cared for Keiko and he would respect that. Their stay would end without issue; they would go home, things would go back to normal and if it was meant to work out between them it would. 

It wasn’t an easy choice and his chest ached already with conflicting emotions. But Makoto wasn’t a character in a movie. Things didn’t magically become right; some romances were never meant to start. 

His brain whispered, ‘And some are meant to end.’

Makoto paused at his travel bag and a sigh left his lips. His shoulders slumped before he ran his fingers through his damp hair. 

He was truly worried. 

A throat cleared and Makoto startled. His shoulders stiffened as Haru asked dryly,

“Fun date?” 

Makoto forced back a gulp and he turned to face Haru. He had to keep his cool, but the moment those blue eyes were on his, he felt the truth seeping out of him. Haru was dangerous. 

Makoto nodded softly, with lacklustre, and replied. “It was okay.” 

Haru’s eyes narrowed and he looked thoughtful for a moment. Then, he nodded, too. It was like he was mulling over his next words. 

And boy did those words cut to the core. 

“Do you like my sister?” Haru questioned bluntly. He was sitting up, feet flat on the floor, eyes looking through Makoto. 

It inspired the truth. 

“Yeah, of course I like her.” The brunet replied but Haru’s blue only narrowed further.

A pause lingered that felt full with tension and unsaid words. The rubber band surrounding them was pulled tight and it was going to snap soon. 

“Do you love her?” Haru asked seriously and Makoto could physically hear the band breaking; snapping in two, just like his sanity. 

His eyes fell to the ground and his heart beat painfully in his chest. Makoto remembered the way that Keiko felt against him, all of the good times that they have had. He realised that none of them were even half as intense as his first five minutes with Haru. Makoto realised that…

“I thought I did.” He murmured down at the carpet and he expected something dramatic, maybe a hit to the face or something more inappropriate. However, Haru didn’t speak. Makoto chanced a look upwards and the stoic man nodded once, his black hair falling over his eyes as he said clearly,

“Okay.” 

The implications of that one word were many and could be taken in so many different ways. Makoto was stumped and Haru probably knew it, too. 

Despite everything that was floating through the air, Haru merely reached for the light and his hand hovered on the lamp’s switch.

“Do you need this?” He asked easily, to which Makoto shook his head, ’no’.

The room was covered in darkness and Makoto was left with the image of Haru half reclined on his king single mattress, polka dotted flannel pajamas slung low on his hips, eyes watching until the last moment, and he wanted to groan. 

Instead, Makoto fell to the makeshift bed beside Haru’s and crawled beneath the warm blankets. 

Needless to say, it was a while before Makoto was able to fall into a guilty, unrested sleep. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was almost 3 am by the time Makoto fell asleep and it was the reason for his late rising. It had been that way for the last couple of days. He’d go to bed at a reasonable time and would spend hours staring up into the darkness, listening to Haru breathe steadily through his sleep. It was a comforting sound and was ultimately the reason that he was able to nod off; aside from the exhaustion. There were many problems that kept him up but they were all tangible except for one. Whenever his eyelids would flutter closed, Makoto would inhale the scent of Haru’s room and remember why he was in trouble. His groin would stir and his heart would plummet. It had been happening since he got to the Nanase’s and it had only gotten worse since his movie date with Keiko. He’d tossed and turned the issue in his mind while in bed. Makoto had no outlet for his worry either. He couldn’t talk about it to Keiko and even if he wanted to it wouldn’t be possible. His girlfriend was becoming increasingly busy with catching up with everything that she had missed. Makoto never had the same attachment to his hometown and it was cute to see Keiko so excited. Nevertheless, it left him with a lot of free time on his hands. 

When he awoke at 12 pm, it was to the sound of Haru shuffling around in a stupor and the feel of something brushing against his forehead. He realised, when he finally found the will to move, that it was a sticky note from Keiko stuck to his face. She loved to play small tricks on him like that and it always made Makoto smile. Today’s message reminded him that she was going to Rika’s. He knew that she was planning it but he didn’t realise that it would be today. From what he had heard, the coffee shop was fully staffed with holiday newbies and it left Keiko’s friends with time for themselves. They were two other people that Keiko could spend time with that weren’t Makoto or her school friends. He wasn’t bitter about it and he wasn’t worried that she would do something stupid; he had that front covered. Keiko loved nothing more than monopolising people and she hadn’t taken up much of Rika and Shinji’s time in so long. It was reasonable and he didn’t mind. It was just unlucky for Makoto that Keiko seemed content to leave him be. Today was a day of helping, which meant that he would be alone with Haru. It would have been easier on him if Keiko had joined them. Easier because Makoto would have had a buffer; something to focus on that wasn’t his misplaced feelings.  He was already cursing the part of himself that was pleased that she was gone; that wanted him and Haru to be alone. 

Yes, Makoto had been avoiding the scholarship assignment and Haru had, too, for the most part. But that was all over now. They needed to knuckle down and get something done. It was what saw Makoto on the floor of Haru’s bedroom; items sprawled out on the carpet. The futon had been rolled away for the time being and a grumpy Haru Nanase sat opposite of him. The aspiring architect glared down at the pieces of plastic and wood. He eyed the hot glue gun skeptically before gazing up at his sketchbook with a longing expression that was all too obvious. Haru wasn’t used to hands on work and this assignment required just that. His piece needed to blow away the scholarship committee. 

Lucky for him, Makoto knew a thing or two about building things. His dad was a big collector of model items that required a fair bit of assembly and Makoto even got into it himself for a time. His family had also renovated their house together. He and his father were the proud creators of their second set of guest rooms. The family home started out as a small place, but thanks to some know-how and a council permit, Makoto would always have a room there and his mother had the sewing area she had always dreamed of.  

Yeah, Makoto had a few tricks up his sleeve. 

However, he’d let Haru try first. 

The dark haired man stared down at the equipment. He looked at the heating light of the glue gun, his eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, and a sigh fell from his barely parted lips. A huff followed as he blew his fringe from his face, and for just a second, Makoto was graced with vibrant blue. 

He looked down quickly and managed to stop the escalation of his heart rate. He’d been having close calls like that all morning, but so far his self-restraint was really working. 

Makoto hadn’t thought about the man across from him much at all. Every so often he found himself mulling over things that were not allowed. Then he would pull himself back and it was all okay. He didn’t think about the rumble behind Haru’s toneless voice or his black hair that looked blue in the right light. He hadn’t watched Haru slide from movement to movement like he was floating and Makoto sure as hell hadn’t breathed in Haru’s masculine musk…much.

So he was failing worse than he had anticipated. But who would have known that Makoto would find an unbearable attraction within another man? And his girlfriend’s brother no less.

He’d thought about it too much and it wasn’t the chemistry or Haru’s gender that shocked him. It was how very normal it all felt. Within moments of being in Haru’s presence, Makoto was comfortable. Being with him was familiar while being completely new; it was scary. When it was silent the air wasn’t awkward. Sure there was this strange tension but even that could be forgotten when he wasn’t looking directly at Haru. It was small and completely intangible, but things like that made it all the more difficult to pull himself back from bad choices; the comfortable feeling made morally wrong actions seem right.  

“Makoto.” Haru said suddenly and the man started from his reverie.

“Hm?” He replied quickly, looking up at his counterpart before glancing away from the somewhat dead gaze. Unlike the other times, Haru’s eyes were more tired; less vibrant, but just as pulling. He looked exhausted. 

“I give up.” Came the lacklustre response. Haru was completely serious and Makoto sighed. It was like dealing with a man child. 

“Haru, you can’t give up.”

Haru glared. “But I’m hungry.”

“Did you eat breakfast?” Makoto asked and he knew that he sounded like an old man.

However, unlike Nagisa or Keiko, Haru didn’t scold Makoto for mothering him. Instead, he sighed petulantly. 

“No…” He muttered. There was a pause as he glanced down at his hands. Then Haru sighed again. It held all the sighs in the world and Makoto started to feel bad. 

“Pause?” Haru asked simply after a moment. He didn’t give an explanation but Makoto sort of gathered what he had meant.

“We’ll do the project after you’ve eaten?” He questioned hopefully.

“Mm.” Haru nodded once and Makoto smiled. He could deal with that. 

“Wait here. I’ll make you something.” He stated, but instead of looking pleased, Haru looked worried. 

“Can you cook?” He asked dubiously.

There was a short pause. 

“How about a sandwich?” Makoto tried because, no, he couldn’t cook. 

Haru seemed to agree to it and Makoto quickly bound down the stairs. He ripped the fridge open and smiled at Mrs. Nanase, who was napping in her favourite chair. A small snore filtered into the kitchen as Makoto loftily put the sandwich together and he smiled at his handiwork. 

“Haru.” He called and his foot nudged the bedroom door open. Blue eyes met his and Makoto glanced downward. He could feel that Haru was still watching him but it didn’t stop him from placing the water and plate beside the equipment. When it was safely in place, the man sat back down, with folded legs, and unintentionally watched Haru pick up the sandwich. He eyed the bread hesitantly before he sniffed it. Then, his mouth opened and Haru bit down. Makoto looked away as he saw a flash of pink tongue and his neck flushed. 

Haru swallowed loudly and took a drink. “What did you do?” He asked accusingly. 

“What do you mean?” Makoto replied. He sounded just as confused as he looked and Haru let out an exasperated breath. 

“It tastes like shit.” He explained and Makoto’s brows furrowed. 

“But it’s just a sandwich.” The brunet murmured. He couldn’t believe it. He knew he was bad, but come on!

“ _I know_.” Haru agreed and he sounded like he couldn’t believe it either. Though the more the dark haired man watched Makoto, the less he scowled. 

It took a moment for the annoyed expression to fade and Makoto apologised profusely. To which Haru smirked. 

“Taste it.” The architect said. His tone spoke the truth and Makoto’s eyes widened. He gave Haru an expression that asked, ‘Really?’ and he received a nod. 

“Alright.” Makoto sighed and he reached for the sandwich that Haru held. He gripped at it softly and as he pulled back, their fingers brushed. Makoto couldn’t suppress the gasp that escaped and he dropped the food on top of the project. Haru didn’t seem to notice as he stared at Makoto’s outstretched hand. The dark haired man looked perplexed and for a moment Makoto was frozen in place. 

Haru’s fingers covered the short distance and a warmth zapped through them both. Their breaths hitched as Haru feathered the tips of his digits along Makoto’s palm. They stopped before exploring the back of his hand and Makoto found himself moving. His own fingers twitched to life as they skated along the side of Haru’s hand. The two men were completely transfixed on their palms that pressed flat together. They could only focus on their breathing, which had evened out into one, and the electrifying warmth of the other. 

Haru’s smaller hand felt petite against Makoto’s but it was undeniably masculine. Their fingers weaved together and Makoto felt the tips of his fingers touch Haru’s knuckles. For a moment he just stared and then he was looking up. Haru was, too, and the tug inside of his belly was too strong to resist. Haru’s cheeks were flushed, his pupils were dilated, and when his tongue darted out to slide over his parched lips, Makoto was unable to hold back a very small groan. 

If he was in his right mind, that noise would have stopped him. But Makoto couldn’t, because it wasn’t he that was moving. Haru’s blue eyes were wide, surprised, and he tugged Makoto forward forcefully by their meshed hands. He swooped closer and his black hair covered his eyes, the vibrant colour still visible beneath. Makoto, who had stopped breathing, was able to take in a large lungful of air before Haru’s lips were against his own. He knew it was coming but the force still took Makoto by surprise. 

The room was hot and so was he. Their hands untangled so that they could press close against the other’s ribs. Lips parted, tongues dove and Haru let out the most exquisite noise known to man. The sound of crunching wood and the feel of squished sandwich didn’t register as Makoto felt Haru hard against him and he moaned at the thought of touching him intimately. 

Then, just as quickly as it began, the moment was shattered. Haru’s phone rang shrilly from beside them and Makoto’s mind turned back on like a flashlight. The roaring fire within him didn’t cease but his brows furrowed and he ripped away, falling back onto the carpet in a mess of legs and shame. 

Haru panted heavily and his face was unreadable. Makoto was unable to look away from his kissed lips, mussed hair and tented sweatpants. He couldn’t and yet he felt horrible. 

The phone began to ring again and Haru’s hand darted out. He picked up the device, without glancing away from Makoto, and he clicked the button.

“Hello.” He greeted flatly, but Makoto could still hear the strain in his voice. It killed him for more than one reason. In truth, he would love nothing more than to move up onto the bed and finish their encounter good and proper, but the loyal part of him wanted to cry. 

“Keiko.” Haru continued on. “Sorry, we were busy.” Blue eyes changed into an accusing expression as they narrowed in his direction and Makoto’s guilt climbed even higher. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I’m sorry.” Makoto gasped as he clambered to his feet. He stumbled to the door without waiting to hear the rest of the conversation. It shut with a loud click and he raced into the washroom, locking himself inside. 

He found the basin quickly and turned on the tap to wash his face. His shaking fingers gripped at the porcelain sides painfully and he chanced a peek at his own reflection. 

From where he stood Makoto looked strung out. There were dark circles around his eyes, his cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen.

“ _Fuck_.” He swore heavily, leaning his head against the mirror pathetically. 

He didn’t move for a very long time and all he could do was think. 

Makoto realised, as his heart throbbed painfully, why Haru had looked at him the way that he did. 

Makoto wasn’t just hurting Keiko, he was also hurting himself and Haru. 

He wasn’t sure how he could come back from this. 

“What…What do I do?” 


	6. Chapter 6

Three weeks later and Christmas was just around the corner. The Nanase’s weren’t really ones to celebrate but they still had a small tree and a line of coloured lights along the curtain covers. At nighttime the slowly changing colours filled the room and it made the area feel mystical. Makoto had helped Mrs. Nanase put everything together because he was very tall. Also, he liked to be useful and he was trying to keep himself busy.

It wasn’t easy leaving the bathroom after he and Haru had kissed. When he did he found that Haru had left. The house was completely empty, save for a sleeping Mrs. Nanase. Later on Makoto found out that Haru had gone to the gym. Keiko teased and prodded and Makoto just looked to the side. His neck turned red because he knew that Haru had a nice body; he had felt it against him earlier that day. 

They didn’t talk that night but Makoto could feel Haru’s eyes upon him, waiting for him to speak, but words were too hard. Makoto didn’t know what he could say to make it right; he was likely to fuck everything up worse if he did. 

In his heart of hearts he knew that he wanted Haru, and as much as it was physical, it was also more than that. Haru had this way about him. He was confident and cool but he was also caring. Makoto had watched the dark haired man help his mother around the house. He would cook and clean. Haru even did the laundry. 

Keiko wasn’t very good at house hold things and preferred to watch and dictate. Makoto was starting to see more differences between the twin’s than he initially thought. All of this was done quietly, though, without any notice from others. 

Makoto had been avoiding Haru, and even though they had only known each other for five weeks, he was growing lonely. At nighttime he would come to bed later than everyone else to ensure that they couldn’t talk. He knew that Haru knew. It became clear to him one night, when he’d gone to the movies with Keiko and was incredibly tired. It was late and he assumed that Haru would be sleeping. He wasn’t but the light was off. Haru’s eyes had jammed shut and he stilled instantly, though they both knew that Haru was awake. 

Makoto still felt the pull every day. He was spending more and more time with Keiko and even ensured that she included him in outings with her school friends. He guiltily latched onto her with fervour and hoped inwardly that she didn’t notice the change. If she did Keiko never said anything. 

They watched television, played board games, challenged each other in Xbox, went to dinner, built a snowman and every other couple-like thing Makoto could think of. He was more than attentive and thought that Keiko noticed sometimes. She knew that he was trying too hard and didn’t mention it. It only caused the guilt to grow bigger and then he’d hear a noise or the stairs would creak and he’d jump. Makoto would scan the area and Keiko would ask, “Are you okay?” 

Every time Makoto responded, “Yeah, I’m fine.” And her blue eyes watched him a little closer the longer that it went on. 

At dinner Haru was quiet but it was different than before. He didn’t look up from his plate anymore and excused himself quickly. Still, it was probably for the best. Makoto couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Whenever Haru entered the room, Makoto’s green honed in and that was where they stayed until he left. Keiko only caught him once. 

At night he tossed and turned, and when he was able to sleep, he had nightmares. At first they were about Keiko and Haru until they only featured one of them. The days where he wished to only think of Keiko were gone and Makoto found himself feeling badly for both twins. He felt bad for Keiko because he didn’t feel as strongly as he should and he had kissed Haru. He felt bad for Haru because he did feel strongly for him, almost too strongly, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He’d given into the kiss when he shouldn’t have and now everything was weird. 

Still, the issue of he and Haru didn’t rear its ugly head until four days before Christmas. Makoto had bought his presents when Keiko was at the coffee hut. He’d found something for her, Mrs. Nanase and even Haru. It took a painfully long time for him to choose something for each of them. He knew what they liked, even Mrs. Nanase, but getting the right gift wasn’t easy. Makoto deliberated over Keiko’s and eventually got her a webcam kit and some script writing texts. She wasn’t a girl that liked frills and diamonds but he knew that her computer was a bit older and didn’t have a mic or cam. She’d be able to talk to the people back home when they went back to school. He also knew that she wanted to be a writer. Her performing was great but Makoto had seen her when she thought that no one was looking. Keiko wrote plays and stories and she deserved to give that a go. 

For Mrs. Nanase, Makoto picked up a gift card for the home makers place. He wanted to get something more personalised, but if she was anything like his mother, then he had better let her choose her kitchen supplies. 

Haru’s gift was the hardest and Makoto stumbled upon it in the end. It was stupid, and a little girly, but his heart said to buy the ridiculously expensive present, so he did. 

It was that present buying that placed him on the living room floor, putting the gifts beneath the tree, while Haru shuffled around in the kitchen and Keiko watched TV. 

He stood up and gave a satisfied sigh. His arms stretched out and Makoto heard his neck crack satisfyingly. When he opened his eyes, Haru was standing in the entryway to the lounge area. Both he and Keiko were watching him, and not surprisingly enough, Haru’s gaze was more intense. 

Keiko noticed Makoto looking and turned her head towards her brother.

“Haru-bear! Do you wanna play Xbox?” She asked hopefully and Haru just continued to stare. His eyes slid slowly from Makoto to Keiko and he didn’t even scold her for the affectionate name. 

“No.” He said simply. 

She looked to Makoto next and he shrugged. The tension in the air was thick and Keiko’s eyes narrowed. Her brows drew inward and she looked perplexed, but not in a surprised way. Then her head upturned at Haru, looking to Makoto next and she asked.

“Did something happen between you two?” 

Makoto’s eyes widened a fraction but he managed to stop the flail that occurred inwardly. Haru stiffened like he was made of stone and both men replied simultaneously.

“No.” 

Then Haru turned and headed up the stairs. Makoto stood immobile and just managed to shake away the freak out that was on the brink. He moved quickly and made sure to fill the suspicious silence. 

Still, Keiko fixed him with serious eyes and asked him again.

“Are you sure nothing happened?” Her expression was worried and she didn’t look angry. Makoto supposed that it was because a woman would never suspect their boyfriend of falling for their brother. It was a bit outrageous and it only made Makoto feel like a fiend. 

He sighed and sat down beside the girl. His forearms rested on his knees and Makoto looked at the muted television. 

“I don’t know what happened.” He said truthfully. It was an ambiguous low blow, but really, he didn’t know. The actions that got them to where they were, he knew. However, Makoto didn’t understand the why or the how of it all.

Keiko sighed and leant against his larger frame. Her hair smelt like fruity shampoo and Makoto was too sullen to compare it to the smell of Haru’s soap. 

“Haru’s never been a happy person and I thought something was changing when we got here. I don’t know what happened.” 

Makoto didn’t reply but he was pretty sure that his heart broke a little. 

“Hey Mako?” Keiko murmured after a long, sad silence. She sounded soft and tired.

“Mm?” He replied.

“From now on do you think you could watch out for him?” She asked hopefully. Makoto couldn’t see her eyes but he felt the sincerity in her words. It was the first time in a while that he didn’t feel like an absolute dick because, yes, he always wanted to watch out for Haru.

“Yeah, I will.” He murmured. 

In that moment, sitting with Keiko on the living room carpet, Makoto realised that he was in love with Haru.

__

That night Makoto spent time with Keiko easily. They watched a movie and she beat him on the underwater world game. He had fun and his mind only drifted to Haru occasionally. By the time they were done it was past midnight and Keiko kissed him goodnight. It was a full kiss that lasted longer than any touch had in weeks. He enjoyed it but Makoto knew that it wasn’t truly for him. He didn’t know what he was going to do about Haru or Keiko. Maybe they’d still go home and things would work out, though he doubted it. 

He had a late shower and pulled on a pair of black sweatpants. A long sleeve shirt followed and he made his way into Haru’s room quietly. It was dark and the first thing that Makoto noticed was the figure upon the bed. 

Haru was breathing heavily, moving his head from side to side in his sleep. A groan left his lips that didn’t sound pleasant and Makoto acted without thinking. His toiletries bag dropped to the floor and he walked straight over his makeshift sleeping roll to the bed. 

“Haru.” He said softly, with urgency. “Wake up.” 

He shook his biceps and said his name again. Makoto gripped at Haru’s toned arm and then, when he was just starting to panic, Haru breathed in a rapid lungful of air. A hand snapped upward to grip Makoto, just above the elbow, and he found himself being pulled to the bed. 

“Haru, it’s me.” He said a little louder than before. His body angled awkwardly as he sat pressed against the dazed man, who was still holding onto him tightly. 

“Makoto?” Haru asked into the darkness and he replied with an affirmative, ‘Yes’. 

There was a long pause before the wind was almost knocked from the brunet. Haru’s arms wrapped around his torso and his head burrowed against his clavicle. It felt amazing but the uncharacteristic move made Makoto frown. Something wasn’t right. 

“It was a dream.” Haru’s muffled voice sounded against Makoto’s skin and he went to move away. However, when his arms disengaged, Makoto found that he wasn’t ready for it to end. In a quick action, he had Haru pressed close to him again and Makoto wasn’t letting go.

“What happened?” He asked against Haru’s hair. Subconsciously he sniffed it and the scent was just right. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Haru replied. His voice was toneless like always and he sounded more distant. Nevertheless, he didn’t push Makoto away. 

Makoto sighed. “Sometimes it’s good to get it out.” But Haru wouldn’t budge. 

Eventually he pulled back and when his eyes met Haru’s in the dark, Makoto’s heart throbbed painfully. Walking away from this wasn’t going to be easy. 

He climbed down to his futon and hesitantly crawled inside. Still, Makoto found himself looking up at Haru, who had one arm slung over his eyes. The other dangled over the edge of the bed lifelessly and Makoto’s fingers began to itch. 

Then, Haru finally spoke up. 

“I dreamt that you loved my sister.” He murmured softly. He spoke like Makoto didn’t already love Keiko and in a way Haru was right. He loved her, but not in that way. A long pause befell them and Haru wracked in a shaky breath; one that would only ever escape during the safe confines of darkness. 

“You chose her…” Haru said heartbreakingly and Makoto’s breath hitched in his throat. 

It wasn’t a choice that his hand moved to grasp Haru’s in his. It was cold against his own and Haru made no move to squeeze back. 

“Haru…” Makoto whispered. His fingers laced between the smaller man’s and he squeezed. “I’m  _ **so**_  sorry.”

He didn’t see Haru nod in the dark but Makoto didn’t need to. 

For the remainder of the night he held Haru’s hand. He held it as Makoto listened to Haru’s breathing even out and he held it as his own eyes fluttered closed. 

Despite everything, it was the first night that Makoto slept soundly. 


	7. Chapter 7

The sun filtered in through the slightly drawn curtains but it wasn’t what woke him. Makoto’s bleary eyes blinked away the sleep and he focused on the shadow before him. It was Keiko who was standing at the bedroom’s entryway. She looked ready for the day and Makoto noted that she was dressed particularly well; he’d never seen that outfit before. 

The overwhelming exhaustion that almost crippled him was gone. The fog that had surrounded Makoto’s conflicted mind had lifted and, for the first time in weeks, he could see clearly. He was warm; almost too warm. The blanket around him aided the cocooning feeling but it was the slightly damp heat that made him feel safe. Makoto realised, as he turned toward the feeling, that it was Haru’s hand. Makoto didn’t flinch; he was too relaxed. He did remember the events of last night, though. It hurt his heart and yet he couldn’t quite connect with the pain in that moment. 

Fingers laced between his, and unlike the darkness of 2 am, Haru squeezed back in his sleep.The rough pads of his fingertips pressed against Makoto’s knuckles and the tightness of the hold wasn’t overwhelming at all.

There must have been something wrong with him because all he could do was stare. Then, Keiko hummed softly and Makoto turned to look at her. Something inside of him kicked into gear and his brain jolted. It prompted him to gently untangle himself from the male Nanase. He made sure that Haru’s dangling arm was safely back beneath its blanket before he focused on the girl kneeling near the base of his futon. 

Makoto didn’t know when she had moved but he didn’t mind. He beckoned her forward and Keiko smiled.

“What’s going on?” She asked but there was no accusation to her tone. She looked genuinely worried and, surprisingly, Makoto didn’t feel guilty. 

She gripped at his hand as he whispered, “He had a bad dream.”

It caused Keiko’s black brows to turn inwards and her expressive blue eyes wavered. Still, the hold on Makoto’s hand was steady and not too tight.

She nodded, “I was going to see if you wanted to come to the coffee hut but you should stay here.” Keiko decided, pulling back. “Do you two have something to do?” She asked.

Makoto looked up at the project on Haru’s desk. He hadn’t been helping but it looked like there had been some significant headway. He was sure that they could do something to round up the assignment.

“Haru’s project isn’t finished.” Makoto murmured and Keiko’s eyes followed the direction of his. “I’m sorry-” He began to say. He was ready to put his want to stay aside if Keiko really wanted him to come.

“No.” She replied, holding her hand up like a stop sign. “Its fine, you stay and do this. We can hang out later.” 

Makoto nodded because Keiko’s tone was nothing if not final. She smiled at his agreement and looked up at her dozing brother with a softness that Makoto hadn’t seen before last night. Then, she leaned in and placed a kiss upon Makoto’s mouth. It was chaste and her lips moved to his cheek, then forehead. Petite arms wrapped around his shoulders and Makoto could do nothing but accept the hug. He fell into it and sighed contentedly. 

It wasn’t long before Keiko pulled back and squeezed Makoto’s shoulder with her left hand. 

“You’re sweet, Mako.” She smiled and it made him smile in turn. He’d done things that he would rather have avoided but Makoto was coming to learn that he didn’t regret them; just the timing. 

Keiko stood and flattened out her winter dress. She pulled at her black tights to ensure that they weren’t bunched, and then with a small wave and a look to Haru, Keiko was gone.

Haru groaned a few moments later and stretched like a cat. His back arched and Makoto watched with appraising eyes. 

“Morning.” Haru said croakily as he blinked once, then twice. Vibrant blue focused on Makoto and for the first time, Haru smiled. It stopped all words that were forming in Makoto’s mind and his mouth parted slightly at the sight. 

It wasn’t a smirk or a vindictive tilt of the lips. It was a real, admittedly small, smile. It sent warmth colliding through Makoto’s insides and settled in his stomach. All sadness that lingered from the previous night was zapped away and, without realising it, Makoto made a decision. 

He’d keep it to himself for now, though, and instead, offered a good morning of his own.

It turned out to be a really fine day. The sun seemed to shine brighter than it had been recently. Makoto didn’t want to hide from Haru or Keiko; the freedom that caught him last night wasn’t gone. Makoto could feel that something was going to happen and he didn’t know what. Still, he wasn’t unhappy. If what he had with Haru was to end, then he would accept it; the same went for what he had with Keiko. There were things that needed to be done and choices that needed to be made, but for now he sat with Haru, finishing the remains of the assignment. 

“It’s good.” Makoto said as he reached the last paragraph of the essay. The business plan framework that Makoto had left Haru with was also filled in and looked good enough to impress. 

The only thing that wasn’t finished was the scale model and even that was only days away. 

Haru sat with his legs bent and his forearms rested on his knees. He hadn’t said much today but he had been a willing participant. In fact, he was looking at Makoto with expectant eyes, and so the brunet decided to fill him in.

“You followed the brief, Haru. The structure was used and you’ve effectively said what you want to do and how you’re going to do it. There’s passion in it, too.” Makoto grinned.

“So, I’m almost done.” Haru stated and Makoto nodded in reply.

“I’m proud of you, Haru. Good job.” He went on to say and the words were met with a perplexed look. Haru seemed to be processing them and then his eyes snapped up to meet Makoto’s green. The expectancy was gone and happiness replaced it, along with relief. 

A smile pulled at the corners of Haru’s lips and it made his whole face light up. It clenched at Makoto’s chest and his breath hitched. The warmth that had been swimming through him all day turned into a burning heat and he couldn’t look away. 

Then Haru said something that would unbreakably solidify Makoto’s decision. 

“Thank you, Makoto.” He murmured without looking away. A hot breath left Makoto’s lips, and Haru’s smile slowly faded, but the memory was there inside Makoto’s mind. He wanted to see it again and again. Makoto didn’t want to let it go. 

The accumulation of pride and relief had mixed with resolve and something that he was learning to accept. Love filled him and he could feel it filtering into the room. Haru felt it, too, or maybe Makoto was looking at him strangely because his eyes widened and he look surprised. 

When Makoto’s hand touched the carpet, he used the leverage to lean forward to rest on his knees. The movement was slow and deliberate, just like the kiss that he placed on Haru’s lips.

It was meant to be short, sweet, and show Haru how he felt, but like everything else with this man, Makoto couldn’t handle the torrent of emotions that the touch brought. 

The lips against his own weren’t too soft and they parted easily. It was an open mouth endeavour that saw Makoto swipe his tongue along Haru’s lower lip before he slowly breached the confines of the wet warmth. Haru mewled in reply and his hands threaded through Makoto’s hair, fingers scratching at his scalp. 

It was deep and sweet; it was long overdue. It wasn’t fuelled with sexual tension, but something else that Makoto wanted to relay.

Something he was going to tell the world that night.

Or so he thought…

“What are you boys doing?” A voice ripped through the moment, pulling them apart and forcing reality in. They hadn’t heard the door creak open or the entering footsteps.

“M-Mrs. Nanase!” Makoto exclaimed with wide, wavering eyes and saliva slicked lips. Haru’s hand didn’t let go of his and, unlike Makoto’s, his eyes narrowed sharply.

The twin’s mother turned on her heel, with her tray of snack foods, and marched quickly down the hallway.

In less than a moment, Makoto felt a change in the winds. The free feeling dissipated and his resolve threatened to waver.

“Makoto.” Haru said but he didn’t hear him.

His heart plummeted into his stomach and he remembered why he was guilty. 

He had to do something!


	8. Chapter 8

“Makoto.” Haru tried again but there was no change. They hadn’t moved from the floor of Haru’s room. Their hands were still clasped together and Makoto was still too shocked for words. But Haru, he was having a different crisis. Makoto’s eyes held a look that unsettled him. Haru felt like something big was about to happen, and when it was over, he’d be alone in his room again. 

Haru didn’t want that. He didn’t want Makoto to have some grand moment where he put everyone first. Anyone could see that he wasn’t in love with Keiko, but Haru thought that their own connection was stronger. 

If Makoto left, then he would be proved wrong. His chest didn’t pound quickly for a reason; his body didn’t heat because of love. He wouldn’t allow himself to love someone who ran away. 

Haru knew that Makoto would flee, but it didn’t stop his next words from cutting deep. 

“I’m sorry, Haru, I have to go.” The man said as he gently detangled their hands. “I don’t think that I can stay here anymore.”

Haru’s eyes narrowed and his hand darted forward to grip at Makoto’s wrist. 

“Don’t.” He said. 

“But, Haru…” Makoto trailed off. His expression held confusion and his voice held hurt. How did one moment go from amazing to this? Haru thought, when Makoto had kissed him, that he had made a choice. After all, he was the one to pull away when Haru kissed him. This time Makoto willingly touched Haru, and slowly, too. If his chest didn’t wring with a new, painful feeling, Haru would still be aroused. 

Why couldn’t he have met Makoto at the gym? Why did Keiko have to choose him? Why was it all so fucked? Why did Haru have to like men in the first place? Why did Makoto like him back?

There were so many whys and no time to ask them; no point either. Haru could see that Makoto was inwardly pulling away more by the second. He could also tell that it was hurting him and Haru couldn’t do a goddamn thing about it.

“Stay.” He said softly; imploringly. 

Makoto sighed and their eyes met meaningfully. Haru knew Makoto’s answer already, but he didn’t speak. He just wanted to sit still for a little longer, then he would go back to being alone and Keiko would get Makoto. 

Life was a bitch.

“Look, Haru.” Makoto paused. He chewed on his lower lip like he was trying to find the words. “I’m sorry for everything.”

A fire burnt inside of the stoic man and he replied snappily, “For kissing me?” 

“No!” Makoto said quickly and the burn lessened. “For hurting you.” The brunet explained, but Haru felt obligated to explain something.

“I kissed back.  _I kissed you_.” He pointed out, laying the truth down in front of them where it couldn’t be avoided.

“Yeah, you did.” Makoto’s green slowly began to seem more vibrant, though there was a sad waver in his gaze. “I did.” He murmured, admitting something that he was likely ashamed of. 

“But - but…your sister. It’s just…complicated.” Makoto reasoned even though it was hurting him as well. Haru thought that he was an idiot. He loved his sister, yes, but Haru had never been  _in love_  before. 

And he was now.

He didn’t get to say anything, though, because an intruder cut in. He would have snarked but the sight of his twin stopped Haru’s words in their tracks.

“You…kissed him?” She asked. Her tone was shocked and her eyes were wide. They only narrowed when both Makoto and Haru replied,

“Yes.” 

Makoto let go of Haru’s hands and he stood. Haru leant up to follow but Makoto stopped him. 

“Keiko, I-” He began before he was cut off. 

“I thought that you liked each other, or that Haru liked you, but I didn’t think you’d do anything about it!” Keiko exclaimed as she marched forward. 

“I can explain.” Makoto tried, but the fiery Nanase wasn’t hearing any of it. 

“Explain what?” Her voice rose, though with each word it teetered downward until finally Keiko just sounded very stressed. “That you’re going to leave because you’re in love with my brother?” 

Haru’s breath was stolen as soon as the words were out and Keiko turned her attention to him. Makoto did as well and he stared up at them from the floor. Haru felt useless, and it didn’t improve even when he scrambled to his feet. 

Makoto saw that he almost lost his balance, though.

“Yes. I love Haru.” He replied softly but resolutely. “I’m in love with him.”

Haru’s heart was beating so fast that he was certain that it would stop and he couldn’t help the question from leaving his lips hopefully. “Really?” 

“Yes.” Makoto nodded once. Their eyes held for a brief moment and Haru’s chest pained. He heard love confessions were supposed to feel good, but he just hurt. 

Keiko’s throat cleared after a long pause. Then, she ran her fingers through her black fringe. It was a move of frustration and she kneaded her temples. 

“I thought I could deal with this.” She admitted, falling back to lean against the wall. Haru’s watery gaze followed and the twin’s watched each other. He saw the hurt in his sister’s eyes but he could also feel pain of his own. Haru thought that they were all hurting and maybe that was how it was supposed to be. If Keiko couldn’t have Makoto then maybe Haru couldn’t have him either. 

Now that thought really fucking hurt.

“I mean, I saw  _this_  happening.” Keiko gestured between Makoto and Haru. “But I thought…” She sighed. “I don’t know what I thought.” 

“Keiko.” Haru finally spoke up and her dull blue eyes snapped upward. For a moment they filled with fire and she pushed off the wall. 

“Now, Keiko-” Makoto tried to reason as she marched forward.

Keiko merely said, “Shut it, Mako,” and kept walking. She didn’t stop until she was directly in front of her brother. Identically shaped eyes stared back at the other and Haru’s aura was defensive. Keiko looked angry and as her hand reared back, Haru flinched. 

Then, Makoto’s voice sounded and Haru realised that the slap never came. Instead, a soft warmth touched his cheek and his unknowingly scrunched eyes opened. Keiko’s hand didn’t move, even when Haru felt wetness against them. But that didn’t make sense. 

Was he - Was Haru crying?

“I love you.” Keiko said strongly before wiping away the few tears with her thumb. “You’ve always been cold. How could I not know?” Her arms enfolded around his waist and Haru hugged back. They hadn’t done this since they were kids and it felt safe. 

He looked over his sister’s shoulder and squeezed lightly into her soft warmth. His gaze met Makoto’s like gravitational force and Haru finally got it. Makoto had to leave. 

He sighed out his understanding, his fingers twitched and his eyes stayed true.

“I love you, too.” He replied, and the words held a double meaning. Haru thought, as he watched Makoto’s sad face, that the man understood. 

“I should go.” Makoto finally said when Keiko pulled away. She nodded in reply and stepped forward. 

“You don’t have to.” She lied. Haru wasn’t sure if Makoto could see it, but he could. Keiko was hurt like him but she was strong; she’d move on. 

“I do.” Makoto murmured and she nodded, face down to the floor. 

“I’m sorry.” He said one last time. Haru’s lips moved to speak but Keiko said it well enough.

“We are, too.” 

Haru watched as Makoto gathered his already packed bag and he wondered if Makoto somehow knew, when he arrived, that he wouldn’t last the stay. Eight weeks was a long time to live out of a small duffel bag. 

They didn’t touch again and no more words were needed. Haru probably wasn’t capable. 

He didn’t know how long his mother had been standing at the bedroom doorway, but he was thankful that she was there to see Makoto off. Like always, his mother held no judgement. She just looked solemn and worried.

Haru didn’t harbour any bad feelings toward Makoto, or his sister. He didn’t feel much of anything as he stumbled back against his bed. He sunk down silently, dull eyes fixed on the ceiling. 

Keiko followed his lead. Their feet touched the ground and their arms splayed a little to their sides. A tiredness filled the area, and when Keiko’s hand reached for Haru’s, he didn’t stop her. In fact, he was sure that they both began to cry sad, silent tears. 

He didn’t look away from the faded stars on his ceiling, stars that were placed there by him and his twin sister many years ago. 

It was only evening but they fell asleep that way. 

In the morning, Haru would face the truth of today. 


	9. Chapter 9

_All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident._

_Arthur Schopenhauer, German philosopher (1788 – 1860)_

Weeks passed in a haze. Makoto arrived home the night of the big reveal. His heart was broken, his head was tired, and he was hungry. He didn’t feel much like talking but the empty atmosphere of his apartment was downright dreary. The fridge was empty and there was a note pinned to the calendar saying that Nagisa had gone ‘holidaying’ with his new boyfriend, Rei, and Makoto would need to buy groceries. 

That was about the only thing that he did. He bought food and a large container of ice cream. He wasn’t usually a comfort eater, but then again, he’d never been in love before. It made sense that none of his previous relationships worked out now that he thought about it. It was because the love wasn’t real. Sure, he cared for them. But with Haru…it was electric. 

And it was gone. 

The ice cream was finished as well and he’d watched every dvd that he owned. Makoto didn’t have the will to go to the rental place; he could barely get off the couch to use the dvd player. 

The phone had been switched off because he forgot to pay the bill; the electricity would probably come soon. There was really only one good part of his life right now.

The job offer that he wanted to turn down but didn’t have the heart had been taken by another. His mother scolded him when he forgot to call for Christmas. Makoto apologised and he knew that he was broken because he didn’t feel bad at all. He didn’t feel guilty either. It was his first empty apology. 

But everything in his life was empty right now. 

It was almost time for classes again and, normally, Makoto would be worried about his roommate’s whereabouts. However, the slovenly, depressed man barely noticed his absence. It wasn’t until the apartment door was being thrown open and the vibrance came gushing in that Makoto realised. 

“Mako, Mako!” Nagisa exclaimed as he hauled in a gigantic suitcase. He was alone but he smelled of a new cologne. It was strong and filled the whole area. 

“Here.” Makoto groaned from his place on the couch. He was covered in a large patchwork blanket and had every pillow in the house upon his head. 

“Where?” Nagisa questioned with a note of playfulness in his voice. By the sounds of it, he was coming closer; his clicking boots gave him away. Now, if Makoto was in his right mind, Nagisa’s shoes would have been the first thing that he complained about.

Instead, Makoto just stayed very still.

“I’ve been talking to Keiko-chan and it sounds like you’ve fucked up real good.” Nagisa said cheerfully. “So Nagisa’s here to fix it!” He exclaimed and the blanket was ripped away suddenly. 

Makoto grumbled nonsensical words under his breath and Nagisa chattered happily. Keiko this and Keiko that. It was like his friend didn’t understand the term ‘break up’.

“Come on. You smell gross.” Nagisa prodded and Makoto sat up with a glare. It didn’t do much, but he’d never had much practice. The smaller man just pulled him by the arm until Makoto was upright.

“Shower!” Nagisa exclaimed and he pushed Makoto forcefully to the hallway. 

“When you’re done we’re going to make this house spic and span!” Nagisa promised and Makoto snorted. Trust him to finally learn to clean after two years of living together.

Still, when the pushy man asked, “Understand?” Makoto felt inclined to reply.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand before the door clicked shut behind him. 

It turned out that Nagisa wasn’t lying about cleaning. When Makoto emerged from the shower, feeling secretly better, his roommate was just finishing the kitchen. The floor had been vacuumed and all of his unopened mail had been stowed away.

“You need to go through your mail.” Nagisa scolded as he opened the fridge. “But first you should check the mailbox. I’m waiting on a package.” The blond nodded but he didn’t look up from his task. 

“What are you doing?” Makoto asked with lacklustre. He was a little curious, though he couldn’t muster his usual vibrancy. 

“Choosing what to cook for dinner, silly. Now go and get the mail, unless you want to help.”

Makoto grimaced, “Nope.” He replied, popping the ‘p’ with a movement of his lips. 

“Good. I don’t like burnt food.” Nagisa quipped. 

Makoto didn’t try to tell him that his cooking wasn’t much better; unless Nagisa was lying about that as well. If he could cook and clean then there were going to be some rule changes once Makoto got back on his feet; if he ever did. 

“Oh, Mako!” Nagisa called out before Makoto could leave. “Keiko-chan is sending us her spare key. If it’s there, can you take it to the new owner?” 

“Huh?” The brunet said as he poked his head around the wall. “When did she move out?” He asked. 

“You really didn’t know?” Nagisa sounded surprised. “She called me last week.” He nodded and Makoto shrugged. His chest was surprisingly okay with the turn of events but he did feel a little bad. Sure, it would have been awkward living two flights away from each other, but they would have made it through that part. 

He didn’t ask any more questions and it was doubtful that Nagisa knew. He was purely the middle man and it showed Makoto just how badly he’d hurt Keiko. Hopefully one day they’d be able to talk again as friends. Right now would have to stay like this and Makoto could deal with that. 

He didn’t have Haru and it hurt to think about him. Most of the time, Makoto got through the day by pretending that Haru didn’t exist. Then he’d close his eyes and vibrant blue would appear. Everything was ruined after that. Denial wasn’t something that worked well for him and he never should have subscribed to it in the first place. 

So what, he was in love and it didn’t work out. There were songs and movies about it. He wasn’t going to die and that was the main thing. 

Sure enough, when Makoto reached the downstairs mail area, his slipper covered shoes shuffled to their box. He fumbled with the key for a moment before the black door sprung open and he cursed the faulty spring for the millionth time.

There were three items for them; not including advertisements. One was Nagisa’s package. It was surprisingly big and quite heavy. Makoto found that he didn’t want to know what was inside. 

The second was a letter penned in his mother’s writing. He grimaced and looked at the third. 

“Apartment 351.” Makoto read the label aloud before a sigh fell from his lips. His shoulders slunk and he looked at his phone. It wasn’t too late to catch the elevator up to the top floor. He’d hand over the key and be on his way. 

It was probably the last he’d ever hear of Keiko or Haru, and it was just a stupid key. He couldn’t keep it, and if he did it wouldn’t bring either of his friends back. Makoto had made his bed and he’d just have to lie in it. 

So he slouched all the way to Keiko’s old apartment and tried not to think of all the times that he had taken this trek before. He didn’t want to remember because they were linked to happy memories that now seemed sad. 

Even knocking on the door made his heart hurt. Still, his fist rose when there was no reply and he rapped against the wood thrice more. 

“Coming.” A muffled voice sounded and Makoto stepped back. He began to prepare his speech inwardly but the sound of footsteps threw all cohesive words out the window. 

Then, as the door opened, his brain short-circuited as well.

“H-Haru!” Makoto exclaimed as he stumbled backward. He was dressed in slippers, his bathrobe, sweatpants and a panda t-shirt, while the man in front of him looked hard at work. Haru’s hair was longer than before and he wore three quarter pants and a tank top. There was a box of household supplies in his grasp and his sweat smelled amazing. 

Makoto almost forgot everything that had happened. He almost dove forward and took Haru for himself. He remembered everything, though. It only made him frown. 

“You’re the new renter.” The brunet realised. But where was Keiko?

“I am.” Haru nodded once. His gaze was unreadable, though it didn’t stop his eyes from being incredibly blue. 

A pause hit them and Makoto needed to speak. Only one word came to mind.

“Haru…” He trailed off. This was the most that he had said that name since he left the Nanase’s. He had cried all the way home and vowed never to speak it again. 

But Haru was here. 

“I was going to come and say hello later.” Haru murmured, looking down at his box of things. Then, without any warning, he turned and ventured down the hallway. He didn’t tell Makoto to follow, but the door remained open and the longing man’s feet moved all on their own. 

“I go to school here now.” Haru told him as he placed the box on the kitchen bench. “I got the scholarship.” 

Makoto’s heart swelled for him and he smiled for the first time in weeks. 

“Congratulations, Haru. I knew you could do it.” He offered genuinely. 

“I didn’t know.” Haru replied and his eyes told the truth. He still looked surprised. 

Makoto’s smile softened to knowing. “You should have had faith. You’ve got talent.” He assured. 

Haru nodded and a smile ghosted over his stoic face. His ears tinted pink and their eyes met just before his head snapped to the side. An awkwardness followed the stumped Makoto and it only became worse when silence filled the room. 

He felt obligated to fill it, and so he began.

“So are you-” 

“Still in love with you?” Haru cut him off.

Makoto stiffened and his eyes grew wide.

“I-I was going to say, ‘doing well’.” He replied but a small smile pulled at his cheeks and he could feel his face turning red. 

“Oh.” Haru intoned, though he didn’t look away. “Are you doing okay?” He asked. It sounded simple; however, Makoto could sense that there was more to it. 

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help the fear that gripped at him. He needed to put on a strong front.

“Yeah, I’m great.” He lied. “Things have been working out.” He nodded, and Makoto noticed that he still was. He couldn’t stop!

Haru’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why you look like shit?” He countered, pulling a sigh from Makoto. He should have known that Haru would call him out. 

“You noticed, huh.” He murmured rhetorically. 

Haru replied anyway. “Yeah, I did.” It sounded defensive and annoyed. It was so very Haru. “Why?” He asked.  

Why did he look like crap? It was obvious to him but Haru didn’t seem to process things the same way as others. Makoto could tell that he was irritated with him and the brunet didn’t have a good reason for looking so dead. Well, not unless love was a good reason. 

“I guess I’m still in love with you, Haru.” The man finally put it out there, cringing as he did. Haru didn’t reply and Makoto was quick to carry on.

“Look, don’t make too much out of it. Okay?” He felt like shit. Haru looked clean and good and he looked tired and crappy. “I promise I won’t make it awkward.” 

Haru’s lips pulled into a thin line and he scowled deeply at Makoto. He stepped forward with crossed arms and his chin jutted upwards defiantly. 

“Idiot.” He said clearly. Haru didn’t say anything else and just continued to stare. 

It lasted about a minute and it didn’t seem like Haru was going to stop. Makoto’s ears were red and he blinked twice. Maybe he had heard wrong. 

“What?” He asked, wondering if he looked as confused as he felt. If Haru didn’t believe him he’d just need to prove that he could be friendly without be-

“Ah~” His thoughts fell from his mind as a muffled gasp broke through his lips. Haru’s hands gripped his shoulders tightly and his mouth pressed hard against Makoto’s. It wasn’t the most elegant kiss in the world, or the most refined, but fuck it was amazing. 

Makoto pulled back and in an instant Haru dove forward again. It was hot and open-mouthed. He felt tongue swipe against his lower lip and the brunet groaned before he managed to gain his willpower again. 

“Wait!” He exclaimed. Haru glared and Makoto’s eyes crinkled in response. They didn’t step back from each other and neither could look away. 

“We shouldn’t do this.” Makoto finally said. It was a horrible thing to admit. 

Haru just huffed like Makoto really was an idiot. 

“My sister gave me her lease so that I could get you.” He explained as if it was completely obvious. 

“S-She did?” The surprised ‘idiot’ asked and his mouth gaped. 

“Yes.” Haru nodded. 

“And…” Makoto wasn’t sure if he would regret this. It was a bit silly since Haru had already kissed him. “And you  _want_  to ‘get me’?”

Yeah, it was a stupid question. 

Haru answered it, though, glare and all. 

“ _Yes,_ Makoto.” He said slowly and forcefully. 

The smile that found its way to Makoto’s face was like the sun and he couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled inside of his chest. 

“I want to get you, too.” He said happily; with relief.

"Good." Haru glared.

Makoto didn’t know if he would get home for Nagisa’s dinner anytime soon. He was busy being kissed to death by the love of his life. 

It was a great way to go. 


	10. Chapter 10

The kisses didn’t kill Makoto but they did see that he dropped his mail. In a series of almost clumsy, desperate touches, the two men moved from the middle of the studio to press against the kitchen bench. Haru’s back hit the wood and Makoto gasped as their hips made contact. He hadn’t felt Haru this closely in weeks, and even then it was brief. This time he wouldn’t let go so easily. Nagisa could knock the door down for all he cared. 

Haru seemed to feel the same way. His breathing was laboured and his body warm. Makoto could barely see the blue of his eyes around his blown pupils. They were both as aroused as each other; both painfully hard. The romantic atmosphere had taken a backseat but the happiness hadn’t dissipated. Makoto didn’t think that he had ever been happier. 

He had Haru squirming against him, pressing up into his large hands, and in one movement, Haru was perched upon the bench. Makoto pulled him beneath the knees until he was pressed close. Then, with one last look at the flushed man before him, he dove in.

“ _Mako._ ” Haru let out when their lips parted. His voice was husky and lilted upwards as Makoto’s tongue flicked over the sensitive skin behind his ear. He whined and pressed upwards before pulling back again. 

“Too much.” He gasped and Makoto let up. He slowed his movements despite the desperate thrum inside of his core. He’d been thinking of this moment for weeks and weeks but he had a problem. Makoto had only ever had sex with women, and never any virgins. If he wasn’t mistaken, this was Haru’s first time, and Makoto hadn’t done much research. He knew the basics from a fumble around on the internet when he was a teen, but he didn’t have experience. 

He wanted to make this good and that couldn’t be achieved on the kitchen counter. 

His lips pursed and Makoto drew Haru into a hug. Then he whispered beside his ear,

“Bedroom?” 

Haru nodded eagerly and he was pushing Makoto back before he could move. A small, calloused hand took his wrist tightly and pulled Makoto down the narrow hallway. 

It was only a one bedroom and it suited Haru’s lonesome attitude, but Makoto’s lewd side was rejoicing for another reason. 

“Here.” Haru said as he shut the door behind them. He let go and walked over to the side of the bed. There was a bag sitting on the side table and he unzipped it quickly. It took a moment’s fumbling before lubricant and condoms were produced and tossed on the bed. 

Makoto flushed red. 

“I said I was coming to get you.” Haru explained tersely, like a warning. He sounded grumpy but his actions didn’t match up. His shirt was already sailing through the air and the sound of a zipper filled the room. 

“Take off your clothes and get a towel out of that box.” Haru ordered and Makoto gulped inwardly. He was in charge only a moment ago, but now that Haru had recovered, he was moving things along. 

But why a towel?

“So we can shower.” Haru entertained him and Makoto wondered if he had spoken aloud. He could tell that Haru was at the end of his tether. Still, he had to ask.

“Why?” He said curiously. 

“Because.” Haru paused, looking to the side. His tented underwear didn’t falter, though, and Makoto’s eyes fought for where to look. He settled for Haru’s face as it turned a beautiful shade of pink. 

“I’ve been unpacking and I…havetopreparemyself.” He said in quick succession and Makoto’s eyes widened. He was definitely on board for that. 

“Come on.” Haru glared and he was marching forward again. He looked like a man on a mission and it was a sexy one that Makoto was glad to be a part of. 

He found the towel as quickly as possible before venturing into the hall. He could already hear the shower running and Makoto’s erection pulsed at the thought of Haru beneath the spray. 

It was better than he imagined. He had obviously taken too long to find the damn towel because Haru was already wet with his forearm pressed against the tiled wall. The droplets fell heavily over his black hair and cascaded down his form. He was beautiful and his cock was jutting and hard. His back arched a little and Haru’s legs spread as his forefinger pressed further into his hole. Makoto couldn’t hold back the appreciative groan that began in his stomach that prompted Haru’s eyes to snap open. A keening mewl fell from those wet lips and it sounded like a whisper of his name. 

“Want me to help?” Makoto asked somewhat shakily. He pulled off his underwear and stepped into the cubicle when Haru nodded. 

The scent of soap was strong and Makoto’s eyes darted from Haru’s sudded cheeks to his cock. 

“You can come closer.” Haru said raspily. It surprised Makoto even though touching each other was the end game. 

“Tell me what to do.” He murmured, watching Haru’s aroused face. 

“Touch me.” His lover replied. 

Makoto could do that. His wet hands slid over Haru’s shoulders and back. He cupped the taut rear and pushed away any and all fear. With a deep breath, his fingers spread Haru apart and he watched with wanting eyes as two fingers pressed inside of the puckered entrance. It squelched and looked so fucking good. He wanted to do it for him. His fingers were larger, though. 

“Haru. Can I?” He asked, tugging on his lover’s wrist. A gasp replied and Haru’s hips tilted back. It was as much a cue as any and Makoto tentatively pressed against him. The water made it feel strange. It wasn’t like lubricant, but he was able to push inside easily enough. Only one finger fit until Haru was trembling almost uncontrollably. Then he added a second. Makoto pressed them apart as he revelled in the tight heat surrounding him. He imagined what it would be like to have his cock buried deeply. It prompted a change in pace and he rutted unconsciously against Haru’s side. 

“ _Yes_.” Haru hissed, gripping at his own dripping length. Makoto wanted to touch Haru like that, too, but his hands were busy. One spread him in just the right way for a good show and the other worked him steadily. 

It wasn’t long at all but felt like forever before Haru yelped,

“Enough!” 

Makoto froze and the man against him breathed out shakily. 

Still, Makoto couldn’t resist. His left hand reached out quickly and grasped Haru’s length. It was so warm and definitely swollen. His grip was tight and he moved quickly. His fingers pressed inward faster, matching the time of his strokes.

It was the end of Haru. As his body stiffened, he grappled for purchase. His spend washed down the tiled wall almost instantaneously and Makoto licked his lips. 

“Come on.” He muttered against Haru’s ear. 

“I haven’t-” Haru began to say but Makoto was at his end. 

“You can after.” He cut him off. He didn’t want to wait any longer. Haru still smelled of perspiration but that didn’t matter. He’d be a lot sweatier by the time they were done. Also, Makoto loved Haru’s smell. It was intoxicatingly sweet. It had an edge of something that drove him mad. 

He hoped sincerely that Haru only smelled like that to him. He didn’t want another person thinking that his lover’s pheromones were as good as he did. 

Haru didn’t fight as Makoto led him from the bath. He also didn’t complain when the towel was ignored completely. The bed became wet as soon as they landed but the kiss that enveloped them was the perfect distraction. 

Makoto reached for the lubricant as he pulled back and tried not to look as worried as he felt. His erection was straining painfully from over arousal but he desperately wanted to make Haru feel good. 

“What’s wrong?” Haru asked. His blue eyes looked through Makoto and he reached up to touch the brunet’s cheek. 

“I’ve never done this with a man before.” Makoto admitted.

“Neither have I.” Came the reply. “I just did some research.” 

The thought of Haru looking up information about sex with him in mind almost killed Makoto. His hips pushed forward without his consent and Haru smiled softly. 

“Here.” His stoic lover said. Haru reached for the condom and ripped it open. His hand pushed gently against Makoto’s shoulders so that he was upright. It was a lewd position that saw him on his knees, cock bared and Haru reaching. 

He made contact and Makoto shivered as the latex encased his prick. The lube was taken from his grasp and the cool, clear liquid flowed easily. Haru gripped and tugged at Makoto’s cock; his face a mask of complete concentration. Then, with the same lube covered hand, he reached down and played with his entrance. His legs spread and his knees drew up. 

“More.” He said and Makoto was quick to comply. He dribbled the lubricant over Haru’s stretched hole and watched hungrily as Haru’s fingers began to pump faster inside of himself. 

“Please.” He uttered before he could even think. Yeah, Makoto was so desperate he was shaking.

Haru knew it, too. His eyes hadn’t left Makoto’s face all the while. The aroused smirk said that he was just teasing. 

A sound of want filled the space and the fingers disappeared. Then, Haru was moving fluidly to perch on all fours. His chin rested on his elbows as he opened himself up to Makoto completely. 

“They said it hurts less like this.” Haru explained.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Makoto replied as he aligned himself. His free hand roamed over Haru’s skin reassuringly and he was met with a deep breath. 

It started slowly despite the preparation. Makoto grimaced with self-restraint but he didn’t lose his cool. He was focused on Haru and his pleasure. 

One hand was wrapped around Haru’s cock and he jerked him slowly, pressing inside deeper with each shallow movement. Makoto was enjoying himself. He felt so close to this person whom he loved. He was wrapped up in taking care of him that he almost didn’t hear Haru say,

“Makoto.” 

He stopped quickly out of fear. 

“Does it hurt?” He asked, moving to pull out. 

Haru stopped him by grabbing his hips. His arm reached, barely, and he had to press further back against Makoto. 

And then the brunet realised that they had done it. He was completely inside of Haru and the smaller man was keening words of approval. 

“Move, Makoto.” Haru ordered in a strained voice. The words sent a tingle down his spine and he slowly pulled out. He felt the muscles contracting around his prick with each movement inwards and, before he knew it, Makoto was fucking Haru steadily. 

Haru didn’t seem to be in any pain anymore. The pinch to his face was gone and he rocked against Makoto eagerly. He moaned and gasped. He said, 

“I love you.” 

It was cliché, but that was the moment that Makoto felt the heat reach its peak. His sac had tightened unbearably so; he’d been so aroused for so long. He reached forward and jerked Haru quickly, rubbing his thumb over the tip and squeezing tightly. The heat surrounding him tensed further and, with a few jerky thrusts, Makoto was done. 

His eyes opened just in time to see Haru swat his hand away. His lover gripped himself swiftly and came silently with only two more strokes. 

“Wow.” Makoto breathed but Haru hadn’t regained his composure yet. “We can shower now if you want.” He said gaspingly.

Haru turned his head and fixed Makoto with a glare. 

“Wait a fucking second.” He said tonelessly and breathlessly before grabbing Makoto by the neck and pulling him forward for a kiss. 

Makoto smiled into the touch. He loved his grumpy Haru so much. 

They did shower again after they had rested for a good half an hour. Though by the time they were encased in hot water, their libidos had recovered. Of course, Makoto didn’t want to hurt Haru. 

“Come on.” His lover had urged eagerly and Makoto gave in. They didn’t have sex but that didn’t stop him from bringing them to completion with a large, confident hand. By the time they were done, the water was well and truly cold and their skin was pruned. 

Makoto offered to change the sheets and Haru let him. The dark haired man didn’t bother to pull on anything more than a pair of underwear before he ventured out into the kitchen for something to drink. It was cold but he didn’t seem to notice at all. 

“Makoto.” Haru said from the hallway. His foot pushed the door open and he held out a glass of water. Makoto took it quickly and watched as Haru tossed a bunch of mail onto the newly made bed.

“You dropped this.” His lover commented, and Makoto had to stop the silly grin that threatened to release itself. Haru was more than cute and he wasn’t even doing anything. 

“Oh!” He exclaimed as he placed the glass down on the side table. “There’s one for you. It’s why I came here.” 

He picked up the simple letter and handed it to Haru. 

“It’s the spare key.” The dark haired man nodded like he had been expecting it. “It’s from my sister.” 

Makoto paused. He’d almost forgotten about all that.

“It’s okay.” Haru sensed his unease. “Keiko is going to the technical school back at home. She’s back with her old boyfriend.” He said blankly as he opened the envelope. 

A key fell onto the mattress and Haru read the note inside. Makoto didn’t know what it said and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to. 

“This is for you.”

“Oh, no. Haru, I don’t think-” Makoto tried pathetically and his boyfriend shoved the letter against his chest. 

“Read it.” He ordered, stepping closer. 

“A-Alright.” The brunet said as his fingers enclosed around the paper. 

He dreaded what Keiko had to say so much that when he turned it to read his breath left in a loud ‘whoosh’.

“It says,” Makoto smiled softly down at the page before meeting Haru’s watchful gaze. “Be happy.” 

It was signed with Keiko’s signature and there was nothing else to be found. Those were her last words to Makoto and they felt rather final. Makoto finally felt free. 

“Are you happy, Haru?” He asked curiously. 

Haru’s eyes twinkled and a small smile crossed his pointed face. 

“Are you?” He replied with a question. 

Makoto grinned. “Yeah, I’m  _really_  happy.” 

Reaching forward, the giddy man wrapped his lover in his arms and sighed easily. The warmth against him was safe and all his. Haru felt like home. 

But there was still one order of business that needed to be discussed. 

“Hey, Haru.” Makoto said against his hair. 

“Hm?” Haru intoned lazily. 

“You know I love you.” He began and the man against him made a sound of agreement. “So, will you be my boyfriend?” 

Haru huffed but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he squeezed his arms around Makoto tighter. 

“Idiot.” He groused. “I’m already your boyfriend.”

It was the best news that Makoto had heard in a while. He was so glad that Haru had found him and showed him how to be happy. His lonesome architect was the quiet one but Haru had opened him up. He had set Makoto free. 

He eyed the silver sculpture, that was the only unpacked item, in the bedroom. Makoto had forgotten about his Christmas gift. The bow hadn’t been removed and the engraving read ‘congratulations architect’. It reminded him that while he lost faith in the world, Makoto never gave up on Haru. Haru had faith in them, and that proudly displayed figurine and this apartment were proof of that.

Keiko’s letter held support and Haru would continue to challenge him, pushing them forward in the right direction. 

“I love you.” He kissed Haru’s temple.

“I’m very loveable.” The usually serious man replied. His voice was toneless but Makoto could sense the humour in his words. He was right, though, Haru was loveable. 

If this was what it meant to be happy, then all the crap in-between was so very worth it. Thank god Nagisa made him get the mail. 

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by anilinsan.tumblr.com. :)


End file.
